


Try something new

by ThunderFrost2012



Category: Muse, Muse (Band), Placebo
Genre: Comedy, Courtships, Existential Crisis, F/M, Fights, First Meetings, Funny, M/M, Rejections, Sexual Confusion, bit of childish attitude sometimes, childish fights, even few BellDom hints if you squint, music collaborations, this is a very very old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 37,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderFrost2012/pseuds/ThunderFrost2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew Bellamy is certain that he likes just and only girls.<br/>Brian Molko is certain that he can get whoever he wants. And he wants Matt.<br/>So.. is there a better chance than a collaboration between the two bands for them to verify their certainties?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> this is the very first fic of Muse (or Placebo's) fandom that I've ever written.
> 
> In case you have never seen it before, I decided to post it here ^^ I'll try to do it rather quickly
> 
> it was written in 2006/2007 (told you it's OLD!) but I decided to leave the original notes: a) I'm lazy b) it's fun to re read me saying craps like 'I can't write BellDom fics' or 'I'll never write slash ' back then XD
> 
> so, here we go:
> 
> It has been written in 2006, back to those days, I knew almost nothing about the two bands, except for their wonderful songs. Anyway, I'm sure you'll can easily figure out especially by the first chapters (by the way, i'm italian and some chapters are un-betaed, so sorry for my mistakes.. )
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I absolutely don’t own any of the characters in this story .. also because, if only Brian and Matthew were mine, I surely wouldn’t be here writing now… gee, Lu, you’re a naughty girl! ;-P
> 
> Even more important , I don’t know very much about their sexual preferences ( all I know is that Matthew is engaged with a girl, and I’m happy for him!!! ;) , anyway he’s not gay in my FF, so it works. It’s just that he’s single! ;) ) or about their attitude. Anyway, I’ll try to paint an uninhibited and very self-confident Brian and a calmer Matthew who is just a fake timid guy and knows how to assert himself when he wants.  
> Plus, sometimes, or rather pretty frequently, I’ll make them both have kinda childish attitudes..  
> I repeat , I can just guess their behaviour and probably I’ll be wrong, but I wanna try anyway..
> 
> An Italian reader (thank you so much, Leia) informed me that actually Placebo and Muse don’t get along very much and they already met in several occasions..  
> Anyway, in this story I’ll pretend that they never meet so far.. and that’s only the beginning of the list of my changes, lol! ;-P
> 
> Besides, the tour dates are not real, just like tons of other things, such as a manager’s duties, the two band’s life style and rhythm.. the production process.. etc, etc..  
> Plus, there will be a lots of mentions to some (minor) true stuff and maybe some quotes of their songs, too.
> 
> Let me already warn you that this won’t be proper slash, because that’s not my style at all, I don't know how to write that kind of scenes.. In fact, if there are that kind of scenes (maybe one) I‘ll just leave everything to your imagination, ok?  
> I ‘m mostly thinking about a sort of courtship, painted in a very comic way.  
> There’s nothing dramatic, but most of all there’s nothing true!
> 
> And last, but not the least, this story is written just and only for fun and entertainment, I don’t mean to offend any of the characters (esp. the protagonists) and anyone at all. Just like the word ‘fan FICTION’ says, this is only stuff I invented out of the blue, listening to my madness, lol!
> 
> Ok, I guess I said everything, so, if you didn’t fall asleep yet, let’s begin the story for real:

Alex Weston is enjoying one of the few breaks she can have, smoking a cigarette and inhaling some fresh air before coming back inside those four walls, in order to resume all her various activities.

But a sudden ring from a mobile, her mobile for the records, destroys that short quietness.  
After all, according to her job, she can’t ever allow herself to switch it off, not even for a minute.  
She’s a manager. The manager of a band, a very respectable band that is famous all around the world and has been riding the wave of success for something like ten years by then.  
She’s the Placebo’s manager.

Alex has no other choice and she is forced to draw the hateful object out and getting ready to answer.  
She’s not astonished at all when she sees an unknown number on the display.  
She already knows whom it may be, because the record company, EMI records, has already warned her that she would receive that call very soon.  
That’s why she has no problem at all and pushes the button to answer.

“Hello?”  
“Hi, am I talking with Alex Weston, am not I? Here it’s Tom Kirk, I’m the.. “  
“Yeah, I guess I already know who you are. So, did you also get the news?” Alex wonders. “Uh, forgive me but I prefer very informal speech, the formal ones is boring and makes me feel old. Is that ok for you?” she adds immediately after.

“It’s absolutely ok for me. After all, we are colleague in a certain sense, and probably we must have the same age , too, more or less, because I seriously doubt that you’re a sixty years old woman , not when we both must deal with such energetic bands as ours!” Tom Kirk strikes back.  
He’s the Muse’s manager, and that’s a band that has nothing to envy to the Placebo about fame, talent and success.

“No, I ‘m really not that old, although sometimes those guys give me so much stress that I fear they’ll make me age faster!” Alex comments with a snicker.  
“Right you are, I feel the same! Anyway, coming back to your question, yes, the Warner Records has just informed me and they gave me your whereabouts, with the permission from EMI, of course. I called to know what you think about that.. “ Tom explains.  
“I think it’s a fantastic idea!” the first answers with a big enthusiasm.

“Very well. We think the same. The two record companies are genius. After all, both their album came out with a difference of a few months, nothing more than three ones, I guess, so that’s just perfect. We can make a new edition of the two albums with that bonus-track. Maybe a limited edition, so we’ll make the fans go faster .. “ the second one suggests.

“Well, we can’t complain about how much they sold so far, and I’m talking about both the bands. Anyway, the limited edition is such a cruel thing!” Alex comments.  
“Well, don’t you know the ruthless Marketing world?” Tom wonders rhetorically.  
“Of course I do. That’s why I just said that it’s something cruel, but not that it’s not a cool idea. I agree with you with my whole being.. “ the other explains.

“Plus, I don’t know about you, but I guess that their sounds can melt so harmoniously , mostly due to the singers’ voices, so particular and different.. “ Tom adds.  
“Here’s another thing that I totally agree with you about. Yes, I’m sure that it will come out something very well done and it will be a big success!” Alex agrees.

“Alright. So far the two companies records are enthused about this project, we are, too, maybe even more than them! Now we ‘just ‘ have to let the interested ones know about that.. “ Tom makes her notice.  
“Yes, we should, but not now. I mean, tonight my guys have to perform and they’ve been already trapped inside there making the sound-check since early afternoon. Now they just need to remain concentrated. I guess that I’ll tell them that tonight, at the end of their show.. “ Alex informs him.

“Do you think that it’s a problem? Even if I wanted, I can’t warn my guys about that now.. due to the simple reason that I haven’t the slightest idea about where they are! You know, today they don’t have to perform, so when I told them that they had the whole day free, they disappeared as fast as they could. Probably, they will be scattered around all Madrid hanging around in pure tourist-style.  
After all, they really deserved a break, during the previous shows they had done their best, so it’s right for them to charge their batteries.. “ Tom comments.

“Lucky you, because you are on holiday. So, you are at Madrid, aren’t you?”  
“Yep. Where are you, instead?”  
“We are at Munchen. At least, tomorrow it’s our turn to plug off.. “  
“Instead, tomorrow we have to work hard and we’ll see the break with the binoculars! So, see? We are even. Well, let’s do things that way: tonight each one talks with the respective band and we talk to each other on tomorrow, also to define all the other details better. What do you say?”  
“Sounds good. I’ll call you in the morning, ok? After all, now I have your number, so.. “  
“Deal. We’ll talk tomorrow, then. Have a nice show tonight, Alex!”  
“Have you.. well, have you a sweet nothing-to-do all day long, Tom!” Alex strikes back, hanging up as she finishes smoking her cigarette.

She should not think about the other manager who probably would lay down, sunbathing on a pretty beach of the coast , sipping a cocktail and doing absolutely nothing, in the teeth of her!  
Right now she just has to think about the show. After all the tables will turn the day after.

 

TBC


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling the news...

  
Munchen, 11:33 p.m.  
  
“Thank you for coming. See you on the next show. Goodnight!” Brian greets the audience, raising his guitar to the sky in order to show it to everyone.  
Steve and Stefan wave their hands and say their thanks, too, and then, as he uses to do pretty frequently, Steve throws his drumsticks to the crowd.  
The three observe for a while the spot where the drumstick landed and, as a result, the bunch of people fighting and shoving their elbows against each other in order to get them.  
Once they enjoyed that scene, they disappear behind the backstage.  
  
When they pass by, three employers give them some towels and they use them to clean their faces from the sweat.  
  
“Hey. Eleven words inside a single sentence. What happened to make you so chatty tonight?” Stefan comments sarcastically.  
“He’s right. You usually confine yourself just and only to say ‘Thanks’, because you think it’s already enough. It’s not one of your habit to be so.. garrulous!” Steve makes his witty remark, too.  
  
“Ah-ah, that’s very funny, guys. Do you want to quit saying that I act kind of coldly towards the audience? Have you ever heard about that little thing called concentration? I need silence to get that, the less I talk, the better I perform. After all, our fans come to us to see a concert and not a cabaret!” Brian justifies.  
  
“Ok, that’s right, but, you know, I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t mind a little bit of that nice thing called * interaction with the crowd * , my dear Mr. compared-to-me- the -North –Pole- is a hot- place!” Stefan strikes back.  
“Excuse me, but.. didn’t you notice that he smiled at them something like five times? I guess there was even too much interaction!” Steve adds, as a snicker escapes from his mouth .  
  
“Alright, that’s it. Now it’s official. On tomorrow I’ll call a press conference to say that I’m gonna find a new bass-guitar player and a new drummer , since I’m done with you!” Brian snaps, acting insulted.  
“Oh, c’mon, we know that you talk tough but you don’t really think so .. “ Steve strikes back.  
“Because you love us and you can’t live without us, as we can’t live without you!” Stefan adds, making puppy eyes to him and he knows that it’s a strategy that always works.  
In fact, Brian’s pout fades into a bright smile.  
  
Alex runs into them, on their way to the dressing rooms.  
“It was a wonderful show, guys, the crowd was so excited and in high spirits!” she congratulates with them.  
“See? Finally there’s someone who has nothing bad to say about my attitude!” Brian comments, showing a victory smile to the other two.  
  
“I have a big news for you.. “ she attempts to inform them, but Brian brings an index on her mouth, summoning her to keep silent.  
“Hush, Alex, you’ll tell us later. If I don’t have a shower now, I won’t be answerable for my actions. Really, I’m drenched to the bone and I’m disgusting. And I rarely am disgusting!” he cuts her off.  
  
“Ok, I give you fifteen minutes. Nothing more. I’ll wait for you on the tour bus.. “ Alex gives in, rolling her eyes in exasperation, staring at them as they disappear inside their dressing rooms, not before giving a bunch of seconds of their precious, very precious, time to some lucky fans who managed to sneak through the backstage.  
  
“I guess it will take more than fifteen minutes.. “ she thinks out loud, looking at her watch in mistrust.  
After all, she knows that it’s not the first time they act like that.. and probably won’t be the last, either.  
  
  
After a little more than half an hour, the Placebo get up on the tour bus, reinvigorated and as fresh as roses.  
Stefan drinks a bottle of mineral water, Steve, who hasn’t been as quick as his fellows, is still dealing with his wet hair trapped inside a towel.  
  
About Brian, he just lays down on his seat with a guitar on his lap, just the one he used for the last song.  
It’s not plugged in, because, according to the fact that it’s deep night, if it was plugged in it could be disturbance of the peace. But, despite that, the very feeble sound that comes from the chords that he pinches seems to be enough for him, maybe because that relaxes him pretty much.  
  
“Well, if there are no more obstacles, I still have something to let you know.. “ Alex exclaims.  
“And our ears are all spread… “ Brian answers, as he makes his fingers run on the chords with a majestic quickness.  
But that pisses their manager off.. a lot.  
“Shit! Brian, can you quit playing that damn thing at least for two seconds?” Alex snaps, and she’s about to snatch it off from him, but Brian backs off just in time.  
“No, I can’t. Listen, Alex, you’re such a dear friend to me, I love you as a sister and everything.. but if you dare to touch it, you’ll be a dead woman!” he threats her, almost growling, glaring at her icily.  
And after that, he resumes playing calmly, as if nothing happened.  
  
“What? Do you suffer of suicide mania out of the blue? You should know better, Brian’s guitars are off-limits, they are his lovers!” Steve reminds to her.  
“Anyway, I assure you that you have my whole attention, I’m listening, tell us everything!” Brian exhorts her.  
  
“Ok. You know, EMI Records had another brilliant idea, plotting with another company records.. “  
“Wait, maybe I got you. It’s another project of collaboration, right?” Steve asks her.  
“You’re smart!” Alex comments, kind of astonished.  
  
“Maybe, is another one with Alison Mosshart? God, I like her voice, it’s so sensual.. I wouldn’t mind working with her again.. “ Brian admits.  
“No, it’s not her. Plus, Alison Mosshart belongs to Domino Records, instead the company in question is the Warner Records.. “ Alex reveals.  
“So, it’s Michael Stipe. No wait, that’s even better , it’s the whole R.E.M. band. * I * wouldn’t mind working with them at all.. “ Stefan admits, with dreamy eyes.  
  
“No, it’s not even them, but you got pretty closer, because it’s a whole band, not a single singer.. “ Alex informs them, as Brian enumerates in his mind all the bands that he knows that belong to that label.  
“Ok, I’ll tell you who is, so we’ll end this game. It’s the Muse.. “ Alex divulges.  
  
“Uh? Did you say ‘the Muse ‘ ?” Brian looks for confirmation and his interest is so much that he even stopped playing his guitar.  
“Yeah, you heard it right. Do you know their vocalist, Matthew Bellamy?” Alex tries to direct him.  
  
“Uhmm.. Matthew Bellamy. Oh, yes, right. Tall, brunet, with a tender pricket’s face, two eyes that seems to be made of sky, and a yummy butt?” Brian wonders.  
“Ok, you know him. Anyway. I meant about the music scene.. “ Alex snorts.  
“Yeah, yeah, relax, I placed him there, too.. “ Brian reassures her, moving his hand back and forward pretty quickly, kinda annoyed. “And I guess it will be fun!” he adds with a sneer.  
  
\--------------------------------------  
  
Madrid, 0:42  
  
Since they met on their way back, all the members of Muse come back to their hotel at the same time.  
As it’s easy to imagine, everyone wore a baseball cap and, at least during daylight, a pair of dark sunglasses, to try to get a minimal camouflage.  
But they didn’t escape from the eye of the most careful ones of their fans.  
Anyway, no one had taken too big risks to be detected, so now they are free to tell each other about their day.  
  
“I guess I saw all the stores in town, there were some where I found it hard to get out again. And I bought tons of stuff!” Matthew exclaims satisfied, while agitating his three shopping bags with pride.  
“Well, let me guess, knowing you… I bet all this stuff is just for you!” Chris states.  
“Hell no! What egoistic guy did you mistake me for? To begin with, I also thought about your two…“, he defends himself, giving them two presents, which leaves them quite astonished. “Plus, I bought something for Tom, for my brother, for my step-sister...“, he goes on with the list.  
  
“That explains just half of the first bag, what about the rest?” Dominic questions him, already knowing the answer.  
“Well, it’s just for me, of course!” Matthew admits, caught off guard.  
“Anyway, you know, I also wanted to find something special for a certain girl, but I found nothing... “, he goes on.  
“Wait. Stop and rewind. What is this story?” Chris wonders intrigued, but also Dominic‘s ears are spread.  
  
“It happened a bunch of months ago, before the tour started…“, Matt starts his tale. “One day, and I am still wondering how the hell they managed to, I found two girls behind the gate of my house. One was very agitated and never stopped talking to me, instead the other one, a very, very nice girl, stood beside her, rolling her eyes and snorting annoyed, almost as if she was just doing a favor to her friend. In fact, she really was. She clearly said that she couldn’t care less about me…“  
  
“I can’t believe it, is there a girl who is not under your spell?”, Chris says, slightly stunned.  
“Hey, it’s not that the mechanism ‘He’s a famous singer. I want him. He must be mine!’ works with everyone. With her it didn’t work. And she didn’t feel like that just towards me, she said she can’t stand all the artists in general, because she thinks that we are just a bunch of bigheads all image and no substance…“, he explains.  
“What a bitch!” Dominic snaps.  
  
“Instead, she was a challenge to me. In fact, I played nice with her friend, the fanatic one. Maybe it wasn’t fair, I admit that, anyway at the end she gave me her friend’s number. And after that I began courting her, but she didn’t give me a single sign of hope. Do you think I surrender that easily? Nope. So, one night, ok, it was deep night, I went under her window and dedicated ‘Bliss’ to her, an unplugged version, just with the guitar…“  
“So, how did she react?” Chris and Dominic ask him in unison.  
“She did absolutely nothing, she didn’t even appear at the window. And I dodged just in time to avoid the bucket of icy water that her neighbors threw at me. In a word, it was a total fiasco...“  
  
“Well, after all, it’s your fault. You went there at deep night and sang a song where you scream like an overexcited person for at least half the time!”, Chris makes him notice.  
“Uh, you have some points. I should have chosen something quieter, as ‘Endlessly‘, but I’m sure that wouldn’t have made a difference. “, Matthew states, caressing his chin in a thoughtful way.  
  
“You know what? One thing is a girl who is a challenge, but a girl who gives herself airs, because she thinks she’s better than anyone else, is a total different topic!” Dominic comments, although women are not his favorite subject at all.  
“You’re right. She deserves nothing; I don’t even know why I bothered myself this bad so far. The only song I should dedicate to her is something like ‘Hyper Music’... “, he decides.  
“So, tell me, how was your day?”  
  
“Well, contrary to you and your exaggerated love for material things, I took a nice walk along the coast, in a kinda isolated place, to be in contact with the nature. It was very relaxing…“, Chris explains.  
“So, do you really expect us to believe that you stayed there all day long?” Dominic questions him in clear disbelief.  
“Hell no, just a couple of hours… because after that I got bored and * my * love for material things and society life surfaced!” he admits. “At least, I didn’t buy half Madrid! “, he adds, turning to Matthew who hides his face behind a shopping bag.  
“It’s not my fault if I’m addicted to souvenirs!” he tries to justify.  
  
“What about you?” Chris turns to Dominic.  
“Well, I had planned something like what you did, shopping and excursions, but then I met a Spanish guy... and I spent all day long with him. Oh God, he did know how to move his pelvis and not only that… “, Dominic comments with innuendo.  
“Dom, you’re incorrigible! How can it be that wherever we go… you leave your sign?” Chris admonishes him.  
“This is the way I am. Plus, how was I supposed to say no to such a hot guy?” he justifies.  
“Gee, you’re a dog in heat!” Matthew makes fun of him.  
“And I’m proud to be that!” he strikes back and then they all burst out laughing.  
  
Hearing their voices, Tom leaves his room and reaches them in the Hall.  
“Well, well, look who bothered to come back!” he exclaims.  
“ You have to take advantage of a free day as much as  you can!” Dominic justifies.  
“Take this, maybe that will help you change your bad mood!” Matt adds, giving his present to him.  
“Thank you. Anyway, I’m not angry, it’s just that I need to talk to you guys. There are important news…“ Tom announces.  
  
“Did we lose the support band? It’s a pity, I liked them… they were pretty good.“ Matthew gets alarmed.  
“No, it’s not about them… “  
“Do we have to delete some concerts? That’s even worse, I really hate letting our fans down…“ he gets alarmed even more than before.  
“It’s not even that. It’s nothing that involves the tour, it’s more something about…“ Tom tries to clarify as he starts losing his patience, but Matthew cuts him off once again, as his face darkens.  
“I got you, there’s no need to say more. I have a terrible disease and there’s only a few months of life left to me, and none of you wanted to tell me that so far…“  
“Shit, Matt, could you try to be a little less catastrophic?” Tom snaps, bringing one hand to his temple.  
  
“Excuse me, you read most of the lyrics he wrote, didn’t you?” Dominic makes him notice.  
“Yeah. Catastrophe is his second name!” Chris chuckles.  
  
“You know, since I’m very good to play both the guitar and the piano during the same performance, I just need to try a little bit harder and then I’ll be perfectly able to add also the bass guitar and the drum, so I won’t need you anymore, if you don’t appreciate my style!” Matthew protests, crossing his arms over his chest.  
Chris and Dominic stare at him in total mistrust.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Don’t be upset, Bells, but you don’t sound very convincing in your threats… if that was a threat at all!”  
“That’s true, I bet that even a butterfly can be scarier than you!” Dominic teases him.  
Matthew just ignores them and turns to Tom again.  
  
“You were telling us something, weren’t you? And I promise that this time I won’t interrupt you anymore!” he guarantees with the most innocent look ever.  
“Fine. I was saying that you’re gonna try something new, something you’ve never done so far, you’re gonna collaborate with another band.“ Tom proclaims.  
“Who?” Chris wonders.  
“Placebo”  
“It’s this band that sings ‘Pure Morning’, right? I love that song, especially the part about the friend who’s dressed in leather - what a nice picture!” Dominic comments.  
“Yes, that’s one of their countless songs…“ Tom answers, ignoring the other thing he said.  
“Cool. I like that. I adore their sound, and mixed with ours… well, there might come out something excellent!” Matthew exults, smiling at the thought.  
  
“Alright, I’m happy you like the idea, also because I’m afraid you just have to do it anyway as it’s a Warner’s idea, so you can’t refuse… “  
“Hey, I don’t like being pushed around. One fucking day I’ll have my own fucking label so we will produce ourselves on our own!” Matthew swears.  
“Maybe, but since you haven’t yet, shut the fuck up and obey to their orders!” Tom answers to him on the same line.  
  
“Ok, but let’s make this clear: I’ll do that just because it’s something I like, not because they summoned me to do that!” he clarifies.  
“I don’t care why you do that, as long as you just do it!” Tom rolls his eyes.  
  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, Dominic IS NOT gay in real life (before writing it I didn’t know anything about them all, but now I know much more, also thanks to my readers!) , but I need him to be gay in this story.. I hope you won’t mind.  
> He will surely be the most OOC character in the story, and sometimes I’ll make him say something so irreverent that he could vaguely remind you of Anya in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer ‘ !
> 
> And I bend on my knees and apologize for that to Dominic, his girlfriend, family, friends and, of course, all his fans!  
> I hope you’ll like this story anyway..


	3. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bands meet each other

The morning after, as they all had agreed previously, Alex saves the unknown number left on the memory of her mobile and dials it.  
She holds on for a while, but finally someone on the other side picks up her call.  
  
“Hello?” a male voice grumbles.  
“Hey, Tom, it’s Alex. Did I catch you at a bad time?”  
“You can really say that! It’s such a mess! I’m here at the Palacio Deportes where the guys are going to perform tonight. It’s just 9:00 a.m. but there’s already a huge crowd, so much that it seems that the way where they were supposed to pass through is blocked. We gotta clear the way or have to find a second one before the early afternoon and I’m asking way too much of the guys from the security, they’re just doing the impossible… “ Tom explains.  
“I understand. Don’t worry, I’m sure everything´s going to be fine tonight. “  
  
“I hope so. What about you? I don’t even dare to ask if you know where Placebo are now.. “  
“Well, you know better than me what collateral effects a free day can have on the artists. I can only guess what the hell they’re up to right now, and I really prefer not to know about it.. What about the Muse? What are they doing at the moment?”  
“They should be at the Hotel, re-studying their songs, but knowing them I wouldn’t take that for granted. Anyway, yesterday I told them about the news and they were all very enthused, especially Matt.. “ he informs her.  
“Alright. I also informed my guys and Brian was just turned on.. “  
  
\- Ok, let’s be honest, it’s not properly the musical scene that excites him so much, but let’s not care about that.. -  
  
“That’s perfect. So now we gotta set up the first meeting. I checked your tour dates on some web sites, and guess what? The ones at UK almost coincide with our dates, more or less. I´ll just have to fix a couple of things, but I figure there’ll be no problem .. “ Tom assures.  
“We will be done here in three days, and then we’ll fly straight to Manchester.. “ Alex explains.  
“It couldn’t be more perfect than that. We’ll be there the day after and we´re going to stay at the ‘Divine ‘ Hotel , and you?”  
“We are at the ‘Fabulous ‘ Hotel. They are pretty close, which is good for us. We can already decide the time: we’ll meet you at our hotel, on the first evening of your arrival day. We´ll have a show, but we should be coming back about midnight. We’ll have no trouble with the privacy there, so we’ll can chat freely .. “ she instructs him.  
“Ok, sounds good. So, see you in four days, bye!” Tom hangs up.  
  
\----------------------------------------

\---  
  
“No, Bells, I can’t believe it, you won again! Gee, so you weren’t bluffing at all.. “ Chris snorts, glaring at Matthew as he takes his umpteenth earned cash.  
“That’s why I refused to join the game this time. Our Bells was not simply kissed by the Goddess of Fortune, I guess that he also had sex with her!” Dominic comments, picking up the cards.  
The three guys are sitting on the bed, in Matthew’s room.  
At the beginning, they had re-studied their songs pretty hard, but then the sheets had landed on the edge of the bed, because they had found it much more interesting playing poker.  
With money, of course, otherwise, where would the fun be?  
  
“You should have known better. To play cards against me means to lose inevitably. You know that I always clean out the casino whenever I go there!” Matthew smiles with pride, putting the cash in his pocket.  
  
They are about to start a new game, but , since they hear some steps from the corridor outside, they become suspicious.  
“Oh-oh, someone’s coming here!” Chris observes.  
“Shit, I bet it’s Tom, we gotta hurry up!” Dominic says.  
Matthew goes to open the door, as the other two put the cards away and scatter the sheets on the bed to give the idea that they actually read them.  
After that, everyone takes a sheet and goes back to sit on the bed.  
  
A few seconds later, Tom`s knocking on the door.  
“It’s open, come in.. “ Matthew invites him in, and then he acts all thoughtful, reading his sheet, just as Chris and Dominic do.  
“It’s all solved out, guys. The way is clear again!” Tom informs them.  
“Good to know, We were getting worried.. “ Chris comments, without taking his eyes off his sheet.  
  
“Oh, I see that you’re working very hard, good guys, you’re studying so diligently.. “ Tom says, but everyone gets the little irony in his tone. “Especially, you, Matt, since I guess it’s not very easy to read that tabs .. *upside down* !” Tom makes him notice, glaring at him.  
“Dammit!” Matt curses, turning his sheet of paper. “Uhmm.. I was experimenting with a new way to play the guitar.. “ he attempts to justify.  
“Nice try!” Tom strikes back, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
“Anyway, I also wanted to let you know that I talked with the Placebo’s manager and we’ll meet them when we´ll be in Manchester, ok?” he informs them and they nod.  
“Ok, I’ll leave you alone for now, and I hope you’ll study the play-list for real this time, since you have been loitering for two hours by now!” he adds, throwing daggers with his eyes at them, one by one.  
  
“You are exaggerating, it wasn’t two hours.. “ Dominic protests. “For at least thirty minutes we have studied those sheets for real!” he points out.  
“Anyway, we’ve been playing those songs for years and years, at least the old ones. By now they belong to our DNA, there’s no need to re-study them.. “ Chris makes him notice.  
  
“Maybe, but about the new ones, well, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, for sure! Anyway, I want you to be at the place for the sound check at 2:00 p.m., so don’t waste your time! And, Matt, if you dare to make even a single mistake with the chords… well, I’ll turn your life into a living hell!” Tom adds, while leaving the room.  
  
“What were you saying about my luck?” Matt rolls his eyes and lets himself fall back on the mattress heavily.  
“Hey, Matt, didn´t you notice? * That * was a threat!” Chris makes fun of him.  
“Anyway, I don’t understand.. why is he being cross just with me. After all, you also ditched the re-study.. “ he observes.  
“That’s true, but at least we hid that much better. You can’t even hold a page the right way!” Dominic teases him.  
  
“Besides, you’re the one who has the most stuff to do on stage, among piano, guitar and not to forget lyrics, too. I just have to say a few words whenever I help you in the chorus .. “ Chris adds.  
“Chris is right, you should be a role model to us. Instead, what did you do? You dragged us into the tunnel of hazard play.. tsk, tsk, Matt, you’re a very bad influence!” Dominic pretends to scold him, shaking his head with fake disappointment.  
  
“’There’s no justice in the world/ And there never was.. ‘” Matthew singsongs.  
“Don’t bother about that one, it’s not on the play-list.. “ Chris informs him.  
“I know, but it fitted in the moment!” he justifies.  
“Oh, please, shut up and work!” Dominic incites him, while throwing a bunch of sheets on his lap, playfully.  
  
\-------------------------------  
Manchester, 23: 48 p.m.  
  
“We´re ready, so let’s go!” Brian announces, with a ringing voice, getting on the tour bus, followed by Steve and Stefan.  
“I can’t believe it, this time you’re more than on time and you arrived even earlier!” Alex exclaims in awe.  
“Well, you know, our Molks is raring to go… “ Stefan explains while ruffling his friend’s hair playfully.  
“Yeah! And you know what? I have the feeling that he tried to finish the concert earlier than usual…“ Steve adds.  
“Hey, wait a minute, don’t say such crap. Not only I patiently performed all the songs we had on the play-list, but I also decided to play for the crowd a requested cover that wasn’t even planned!” Brian points out, arranging his hair. “Anyway, we couldn’t make them wait for too long, that wouldn’t be professional… “ he justifies.  
  
“Yeah, cause to jump their lead singer is surely the main sign of professionalism!” Stefan comments sarcastically.  
“That’s not true, I don’t want to jump him… at least, not immediately at the first night.. “ Brian chuckles.  
“My oh my, I’ll pretend I haven’t heard you… “ Alex rolls her eyes, shaking her head.  
  
  
After the quarter of an hour they arrive at the Fabulous Hotel, keeping away from the few fans still hanging around, and get in the hall.  
Tom and the Muse get up from their sofa to go greeting them.  
“Here we are. Have you been waiting for long?” Alex wonders, shaking Tom’s hand and starting a series of handshaking.  
“Nope, we just arrived. “, Tom answers and then they all seat themselves on the sofas.  
  
Brian doesn’t waste time and sits close to Matthew, which leaves him kinda puzzled, but he doesn’t say anything anyway.  
They begin eyeing up each other.  
Matt wears a pair of dark blue jeans and a partly unbuttoned red shirt, a color that definitely suits him.  
Instead, Brian is totally dressed in black, starting with his shoes, along with his jeans, his T-shirt and even his varnished nails.  
And that’s a color that definitely suits him.  
  
Also Stefan and Dominic gaze furtively at each other, with half smiles.  
About Steve and Chris… well, they barely manage to keep their eyes open as both of them were almost asleep while walking and now the comfy sofa doesn’t help them at all.  
One is exhausted due to the concert, the other due to the journey.  
  
“Alright, I guess that we can start it all from tomorrow morning. The EMI Record already booked a recording studio for us that’s just ten minutes away from here by car.“, Alex informs them.  
“Wait. In the morning we have to do the re-study stuff, as usual, so we can’t.. “, Dominic points out.  
“Well, according to how much you all treasure that moment, I guess that you can renounce to it for a while!” Tom comments, with a hint of reproach in his tone.  
  
“What‘s this re-studying thing?” Stefan wonders.  
“Every time we have a show, in the morning we have to re-study the music… and stuff like that.. “ Chris explains, yawning.  
“Yeah. It’s like being in school again!” Dominic rolls his eyes.  
  
“We’ve never done that re-studying thing and so far our memory never played nasty tricks to us.. “ Brian explains.  
“Well, we’d like to avoid that, too, but Tom is a fusspot, way too much!” Matthew comments.  
  
“Hey! I just do my job. By the way, even before starting the real project, I suggest you to do some kind of test before.. “ Tom proposes.  
“What kind of test?” Alex asks him with curiosity.  
“It’s nothing too difficult. It’s just that I believe, if they’re not able to exchange their roles and adapt themselves with each other’s style, maybe personalizing it a little bit, well.. I don’t even know if it’s worth to start this project. The best thing to do would be to hear them perform one of the songs of the other band’s play-list and see how they deal with that.. “ he explains.  
“Do you mean a mutual cover? I like that, it’s such a great idea!” Alex agrees enthusiastically.  
  
“Geez, since when did it become so complicated to collaborate? Before, we just called whomever we wanted, we somehow wrote a song, we played this, recorded that and it was done. We’ve always done things that way!” Brian protests.  
“Well, it’s my fault, I’ve been too precipitous. I like Tom’s idea, so from now I’m going to follow his example. And you’re gonna do things that way, end of the speech!” Alex states as Brian rolls his eyes in resignation.  
  
“See? I told you that our manager is such a fusspot! Anyway, c’mon, it’s not that bad. Just see it as a breath of fresh air among the same songs. I’ve never tried to play yours so far, I guess it will be fun!” Matthew observes.  
“Oh, it will surely be.. “ Brian winks at him and Matthew’s puzzlement increases.  
  
“Fine. It seems that we reached an agreement. Tomorrow we’ll exchange our play-lists, so you can choose one song to perform and work on that. I’m sure that half of the morning will be enough for you to do that.. “ Tom comments, ending the small gathering.  
  
Chris follows Tom towards the hotel bus and Alex walks them outside, while Steve goes upstairs to his room.  
Matthew takes a look around, looking for Dominic, but just like Stefan he seems to be nowhere to be seen. In fact, he just catches Brian’s glance.  
“Well, well, it seems that we are the only ones left in here.. “ Matt observes, in search of any sentence to break that awkward silence.  
“Yeah. I’m not sleepy at all, and you also seem to be still pretty wakeful. So, why don’t we go drink something? Are you up for that?” Brian invites him, pointing at the bar.  
  
Matthew inspects him with a little bit of diffidence, unsure about what to do.  
  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it’s pretty surreal, but that‘s the way it came out and that’s the way it remains, lol!
> 
> Well, if it's the first time you come across this fic and you're liking it (or you aren't) , feel free to let me know ^^


	4. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some drinks, some chats, some confessions.. some reactions!

\- Uhmm… he and I, all alone, drinking something, late at night... Why does it sound so much like a date to me? No, Matt, what are you thinking? Only because you know that he’s kinda ambiguous, you allow yourself to jump to such conclusions?! Where is the open mind you’ve always claimed to have? This is just a normal chat between colleagues, so stop being so damn paranoid!- Matthew summons himself.

“Hello? Still on this planet?” Brian asks him as he’s playfully waving one hand in front of him, due to having seen him being so thoughtful.  
“When I offered a drink to you, I meant before sunrise!” he adds sarcastically.

“Very funny. It’s just that I was thinking about what to take… “ the other lies.  
“So, does it mean that you accept?”  
“Seems so… “ the other answers, following him to the private bar corner.

Few minutes later, they are chatting lively about everything and nothing, while sitting in front of a Bloody Mary and a Gin Tonic.

“You played at the MEN Arena tonight, didn’t you?” Matt wonders and Brian nods.  
“We’ll also have to play there about tomorrow. It’s just that this will be our first gig in this place … “  
“It was the first time for us, too… “  
“And how was it?”  
“On the stage there’s enough space for you to move freely, cause I don’t know about you, but I really hate being stuck and still in a spot as I play… “ Brian comments and this time it’s the other one who nods.

“About the crowd, there’s plenty of space, especially all around the stage. And what can I say about the technicians? It’s not that they are a bunch of geniuses, but somehow those stupid incompetents did their job. So, basically it just could have been worse… “ Brian states.

“And you dare to talk about the technicians who satisfied you like that?” his interlocutor gets astonished.  
“You should hear how I talk about the ones who are nothing but a bloody disaster!” the other strikes back.

“I just hope that they’ll let us use our instruments. I hate when they summon you to use theirs… “ Matthew changes the topic.  
“It’s the same for me. Lucky for us, it’s something that doesn’t happen in many places. I remember that, a bunch of years ago, we were in Italy. We were guests at one of their festivals, St. Something… I can’t recall the name… Anyway, those motherfu**ers had summoned me to play a guitar that wasn’t mine. Do you want to know how that story ended? Once I was done with the song, I smashed the guitar on the ground and ripped it in pieces. Maybe that wasn’t the kind of festival where you can do such stuff, in fact after that episode they haven’t invited us anymore, but to be honest I couldn’t care less!” Brian shrugs, sipping at his Bloody Mary.

 

“I understand you. But… No, I don’t like smashing guitars very much, not even if they’re not mine. It’s something I rarely do, but I must admit that whenever I do it, it’s fun a lot. Usually, Chris and I prefer to assault Dom’s drum set... whenever he agrees or doesn’t!” Matthew chuckles, drinking his Gin Tonic.  
“I remember that once we had to play at San Diego and the staff there had given me such a horrible guitar that I barely managed to play it until the end of the concert, but once I was done, I didn’t even scratch it, but went outside and threw it into the first large rubbish container I found. I bet that I made whoever found it very happy!” he goes on, making the other one smile.

\- Damn my stupid sixth sense! I was paranoid for nothing! Now I’m really at ease and I’m spending a kinda pleasant night, maybe also because we got tons of stuff to talk about. So, I have no reason to be afraid of Brian, not even now that he’s slid closer. Wait a minute. Did he slide closer?!- Matthew realizes, tensing once again, as he fights with his inner voice.

In fact, Brian has slid closer to him for real and now he seems to stare at him in a total different way than before.  
“You know, I really like the way you modulate your voice when you sing. All those tweets and that so harmonious falsetto.. I guess that it’s not easy at all… “ Brian observes.  
“Thank you. Well, it’s just a matter of exercise and constancy and… well ok, you also have to have some kind of talent for that… “ the other explains, as he keeps drinking, maybe also to oppress the umpteenth false alarm.

“It would be so intriguing to hear you make those nice sounds in my bed!” Brian confesses with the most utter nonchalance ever, just as if that was the most natural thing to say to someone, placing his hand on Matt’s left thigh as he speaks.

And then he moves his head away, just in time to avoid Matthew showering his face with the Gin Tonic he has just spit out, almost choking in the process.

“Whaaa.. “ he attempts to speak, but the sudden cough prevents him from finishing his sentence.  
“What did you just say?” he exclaims, almost scared, as he tries to breathe and takes Brian’s hand off his thigh not very gently. Plus, he decides to button up his shirt for good reasons.

“You heard me right, cutie!” the other assures him, as calm as ever.  
“Ok, let’s clear things properly. I’m more than shocked, flattered or whatever you want, but… “ Matthew strikes back, but he stops himself.

, he wonders in shock, blaming the alcohol on that.

Brian exults.

“Anyway, the point is that you missed a little detail that is pretty important: I. Am. NOT. Gay! “ Matt goes on, lingering a lot on the negation.  
“So? I’m half gay and this is surely not something that I planned to be when I was a kid. I discovered it one day, I liked that, so I don’t disdain it. Of course, it doesn’t happen with everyone, it depends by the guy in question, and you, my darling, are on the lucky list!” Brian informs him with a coquettish attitude.  
“Well, you can delete me from that list, since nothing’s gonna happen, never ever, so just forget it!” Matthew informs him, getting up and leaving his glass half full.

“Let me just tell you that if sometimes you don’t dare to try something new, maybe life is not even worth to be lived... “ Brian insists.  
“Instead, let me just tell you that it’s kinda late. We both drank a little and now we’d better go, each of us in his own direction... “ Matthew changes the topic.  
“Ok, let me call the hotel bus so I can drive you ho...”  
“NO! And I’m not going to call my hotel bus either, I’ll walk there. Alone. After all, it’s just a couple of blocks from here. “ the other protests.

“Are you saying that you prefer to risk meeting some bad people outside than spending just five minutes alone with me?” Brian wonders.  
“Exactly!”  
“Well, now I’m the flattered one. “ Brian beams.  
“Oh, don’t be! This matter ends here where it started! See you tomorrow, but just and only due to work!” Matthew exclaims, leaving the Hotel in a hurry.

\- Oh no, my poor baby, this matter has just begun... - Brian thinks with a smirk, finishing his drink as he watches him leave.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The morning after, it’s just about 8:45, but the two bands are already locked into two different rooms of the recording studio, examining the other’s play-list.

Matthew has placed himself in front of the CD player, selecting all the tracks one by one, but focusing his attention only on the intro, until he finally finds the one he fancies the most.

“Guys, that’s it. Are you up for playing this one? Hey, Chris, don’t you think that the guitars here are fantastic?”  
“Yeah, they’re very good. Ok, sounds good to me. “ Chris states.  
“It’s ok for me, too. I like the drums there. Anyway, I can change it a little bit and do things my way. So, we’re gonna play this one!” Dominic agrees.  
“Alright. Let’s start working on that!” Matthew incites them, already wearing the strap of his guitar and checking the chords quickly.

 

In the other room Brian is also examining the songs, but even before the music, it’s the lyrics that catch his attention.  
“Ok, found it. This one is just perfect. Let’s see how it goes. “ he exclaims and then he selects the tracks on the CD player, closing his eyes to concentrate better.

\- So, it starts very low, and then it gets louder and higher… No, I’m gonna skip this thing… I’ll also avoid this part. Then it gets low again, and finally I change this part. Yeah, I can do that, it will be alright. - he thinks, stopping the CD player.

“What do you think? Can we try this one?” he turns to Steve and Stefan.  
“Yes, I like it because it’s various, it seems interesting. “ Stefan comments.  
“Yeah, I don’t mind playing it, too.“ , Steve admits.  
“Ok, we’re gonna play this one then. I’m glad that you also like it, because you already know that I would have made you play it anyway!” Brian makes them notice and they both roll their eyes annoyed.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter you’ll find the two performances (and not only that!) .


	5. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian knows how to use hidden messages.. and Matthew knows how to read them, but.. will he be happy about it?

After about a couple of hours both of the bands show up in the main room, ready to perform under the two managers’ very careful eyes and mostly ears.  
“If you don’t mind, we’d like to start first. “ Brian announces, taking his place as Stefan and Steve do.  
“Feel free to do whatever you want, we don’t mind at all.. “ Matthew answers as Chris and Dominic just nod.

Those are the very first words that Brian and Matthew exchanged since the night before, because they didn’t even meet at the entrance.

There now seems to be some sort of distance between them and Matthew appreciates that distance a lot indeed.

\- I knew it. It’s just that yesterday he drank a little too much and maybe he doesn’t even remember what he told me. But now everything is back to normal again. This is just a professional collaboration… - he thinks pacified, as Placebo are ready to start.

 

By the pretty dark and very epic atmosphere that’s surrounding them, Matt immediately recognizes the song and appreciates the choice.  
But there’s something he appreciates less and that’s the way Brian is looking at him.

 

CHANGE EVERYTHING YOU ARE  
AND EVERYTHING YOU WERE  
YOUR NUMBER HAS BEEN CALLED

Brian sings, with a voice as deep as his look.

But he’s not simply singing, he’s sending a clear message to Matt and he seems to have realized that.

\- To hell with the normality, he didn’t forget at all, quite the contrary, he’s trying again! It’s useless if you look at me that way, I’m not gonna change anything! Things are wonderful the way they are! No number has been called and.. Dammit! The song had a total different meaning when I wrote it!- he realizes as Brian goes on.

FIGHTS AND BATTLES HAVE BEGUN  
REVENGE WILL SURELY COME  
YOUR HARD TIMES ARE AHEAD

\- What? Should I take that as a threat? - Matthew wonders.

BEST, YOU ‘VE GOT TO BE THE BEST  
YOU GOTTA CHANGE THE WORLD AND USE THIS CHANCE TO BE HEARD  
YOUR TIME IS NOW

Matthew is very careful, because he’s curios to see how Brian will deal with the change of tonality, but among the guitar and his voice, he has to admit to himself that he managed to do that very well. Too bad that, now, that he’s singing with a higher tone the message seems to be even more evident.

Brian repeats the chorus for the second time, prudently avoiding the falsetto and choosing to do something different that doesn’t sound bad at all.  
But that’s not the only thing he changes, as although he’s able to play the piano, he decides not to do that and but to start an unexpected guitar solo that he improvises. He takes it so far that even Stefan and Steve look at each other in confusion, before trying to get along with his doing and to bring back the harmony that’s ruling among their instruments whenever they play.  
And in the end there’s a big silence as an opening for the last verse.

 

DON’T LET YOURSELF DOWN  
AND DON’T LET YOURSELF GO  
YOUR LAST CHANCE HAS ARRIVED

And once again, Matt has the odd feeling that it’s another message for him, as he’s listening to Brian finishing the song.

And it’s only at the end of their performance that, as he claps his hands with the others, a terrible doubt hits him.

\- Oh my! When I chose that song I didn’t pay attention to the lyrics at all, but now that I think about it… Oh, shit, I put myself in big trouble! - he gets alarmed.

“It’s our turn, let’s go!” Chris exhorts him.  
“Wait. What about changing song, hmm?” he suggests.  
“Ah, ah, Bells, you always feel like joking. As if we knew any other song of theirs. We only learned how to play this one, so we’ll do just this one!” Dominic states.  
“I know what pisses you off. Since you’re a bloody perfectionist you think we didn’t train enough to play this song, but I’m sure we’ll be alright. “ Chris assures him, patting his shoulder.

Too bad that there’s another agonizing trouble that torments Matthew.  
Brian is waiting, as he sits with the others.

 

\- Now it’s your turn, cutie. I wonder if you want to tell me something, too - he thinks, curios and eager to know.

But Matthew has no more time for thoughts. He just has to concentrate as much as possible.  
That’s a song like any other one, so he has to perform that the way he always does with every other song: play it with all his heart and soul.

In fact, after exchanging an understanding gaze with the other two, he starts with his guitar in a flawless way and by the first, very distorted notes, Brian immediately recognizes it.

STRANGE INFATUATION SEEMS TO GRACE THE EVENING TIDE  
I’LL TAKE IT BY YOUR SIDE  
SUCH IMAGINATION SEEMS TO HELP THE FEELING SLIDE  
I’LL TAKE IT BY YOUR SIDE  
INSTANT CORRELATION SUCKS AND BREEDS A PACK OF LIES  
I’LL TAKE IT BY YOUR SIDE  
OVER SATURATION CURLS THE SKIN AND TANS THE HIDE  
I’LL TAKE IT BY YOUR SIDE  
TICK TOCK (X3)  
TICK. TICK, TICK..

 

\- Hearing you say those things almost gives me the feeling that you are making a declaration to me. Too bad that I know that, contrary to what I did before, you’re just singing a song, it’s evident, and you’re even doing that so damn well.. - Brian thinks, as Matthew turns the last bunch of ‘TICK’ into a harmonic falsetto, before getting ready to sing the bridge, taking long breaths between the lines.

 

I ’M UNCLEAN, A LIBERTINE  
AND EVERY TIME YOU VENT YOUR SPLEEN  
I SEEM TO LOSE THE POWER OF SPEECH  
YOU’RE SLIPPING SLOWLY FROM MY REACH  
YOU GROW ME LIKE AN EVERGREEN  
YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THE LONELY ME AT ALL  
I

And once again, Matt ‘transforms ‘ the song, getting a higher tonality and giving out a series of majestic trills.

 

TAKE THE PLAN, SPIN IT SIDEWAYS  
I ... FALL  
WITHOUT YOU I’M NOTHING

Matthew resumes singing with the normal tonality and keeps this way until the end.

After a general applause and a little bit of confabulation between the managers, they turn towards the bands with a bright smile.  
“I guess that both of you definitely passed the test. Congratulations guys. Those were two excellent performances!” Tom exclaims.  
“That’s true. You should seriously think about the eventuality of playing those covers even at your concerts. I believe that the crowd would appreciate that a lot. “ Alex proposes.

“Yes, we might do that, why not? The only condition is that you ‘d better modify its title when showing our song to your fans... “ Matt advices them.  
“What do you mean?” Brian frowns.  
“Well, you took off both of the falsetto and the keyboards. So, about ‘Butterflies & Hurricanes’ I guess that the only thing left is ‘Hurricanes’!” his interlocutor explains with irony.

“And for the record, I hope that you already realized on your own that when I picked up that song of yours I did it just for its musicality, there’s no hidden message!” he points out immediately after.  
“So, you got my message, then. “ Brian observes.  
“I got it and already deleted it. And if I had to answer to you with a song, I would have probably chosen ‘The Bitter End’, because, whatever you are planning, let me tell you that it will have a bitter, very bitter end!” Matthew warns him.

In the meantime the other members of the respective bands watch their verbal fight almost as if they were watching a tennis match.  
“Is anyone understanding anything about this?” Chris wonders in confusion.  
“Less than nothing. I don’t know what they’re getting so worked up about. “ Steve answers. If possible even more confused than him.  
Stefan and Dominic say nothing and keep watching the whole scene carefully.

“You say so. Anyway, I’m glad that you didn’t pick up that song, because with all your tweets and stuff like that, you would put so much sugar in that that I couldn’t name it ‘The * Bitter * End‘ anymore!” Brian strikes back.  
“But ... you said that you liked the way I sing!” Matthew exclaims with a hurt attitude, and it’s not at all easy to figure out if he’s just pretending or if he got upset for real.  
“Well, I lied. You know what? You can be very charming and everything, but honestly I think that all your songs sound the same, more or less.. “ the first one comments acidly.  
“If only I wasn’t so fond of my guitar, I would have already smashed it on your head!” the second one snaps, as his blue eyes turn into two icy fissures.

“Well, our dear Matt improved a lot with his threats!” Chris smiles, turning to Dominic.  
“Well, it seems that the unresolved sexual tension between them has a good effect on him!” Dominic comments.  
“Unresolved what?! What are you talking about? You’re just a visionary!” Chris grumbles, as sceptic as ever.  
“No, Chris, listen, Dommy is right. And if they carry on this way ... those two will end up jumping each other!” Stefan states, smiling at Dominic.  
“Yeah. They’ll do that just to have a good fight!” Chris adds, but then he jolts.

\- * Dommy *?! - he repeats puzzled, and then glances at his friend, noticing that he and Stefan are holding their hands.

Chris looks at them for one last time and then glances back at Matt and Brian, realizing that on second thought, they are really arguing with way too much rapture.

\- Bloody hell! What’s that? Some kind of epidemic? And if this horrible circle closes up… - he realizes, meeting Steve’s gaze who seems to share his fears.

\- I don’t like this atmosphere at all. I’m taking a break to call my beloved Kelly and tell her how much I miss her, how much I love her and I’ll always do! - he decides resolutely, taking his mobile and leaving the room.

And oddly... a few seconds later also Steve follow his example, leaving with his mobile.

In the meantime, Brian has got closer to Matthew, whispering something in his ear, so only he can hear it.  
“Do you know that you’re even more beautiful when you get pissed?”  
Matthew’s eyes go wide as his face shows every gradation of red and almost immediately he backs off.  
“I hate you! Keep away from me!” he snaps.

“Listen guys, I’m sorry but you’ll have to set aside your mutual hate, since you have to work together!” Tom reminds to them.  
“But I don’t hate him at all!” Brian assures, pissing Matthew off even more.  
“I hate him for both of us!” he assures.

“As far as I’m concerned once you’re done with the project, you’ll be free to rip each other’s head off!” Alex warns them.  
“Shit, Alex, the way you care about me is so touching!” Brian comments sarcastically.  
“Put yourself into my shoes for once, darling: if this project gets fucked up the guys from EMI will rip *my head* off!” the manager justifies.

“I ‘m afraid that these will be the longest days of my entire life. “ Matthew speaks his thoughts, holding his head in his hands in desperation and rolling his eyes.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: usually I wrote it before starting the chapter but I would spoil the surprise about the performed songs. Anyway, no matter how evident it is, in this chapter I used respectively ‘Butterflies & Hurricanes’ by Muse and ‘Without You I’m Nothing ‘ by Placebo.
> 
> The funny thing (or should I say the worrying one?) is that in my mind I really imagined those performances with all the changes.. Uhmm.. ok, madhouse, wait for me, I’m coming!
> 
> Well, if you thought that in this FF those two would lovingly get along with each other.. hihi, I fooled you! And I must thank Leia’s inspiring info for that! ;)
> 
> I hope that you are having fun reading this story, at least half much of how I’m having fun writing it ! ;)
> 
> But, as always, feel free to tell me anything, really..


	6. v

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew and Brian can be sooo childish sometimes…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little premise: I’m sure that in real life both Matt and Bri are more, much, much more mature than this, but, sorry, it’s stronger than me, here I make them argue just like two kids .. and due to the stupidest issues!
> 
> Just read to believe:

“Let me see if I got it right. The quicker we’re done with the project, the less time we’ve got to spend together, right?” Matt sums up.  
“Exactly. But, you know, this kind of stuff actually requires some time. To be honest, I think that the stages here in UK won’t be enough.. “ Alex comments.

Her words have a devastating effect on Matt.

\- What? So, am I supposed to let Brian annoy every fibre of mine even after we’re done with the stages in the UK? No, no, no bloody way! -

“I’m sure that if we work pretty hard, the stages in the UK will be enough. Quite the contrary, maybe just a single week will be enough.. “ Matthew adds, although maybe he’s exaggerating a little with his hopes and expectations.

“Geez, did you say just a single week? That’s a real challenge!” Tom exclaims.  
“Yeah, but we know how much our dear Matt loves challenges. Although to me, it seems more a “Mission Impossible’’ than a challenge!” Dominic comments.

“Well, we can try, can’t we? Just tell me, why you’re rushing things like this?” Brian questions him with a clearly rhetorical attitude.  
“Well, you know, I just can’t wait until this project finally becomes reality!” Matthew lies blatantly, but just like everyone Brian doesn’t buy it.

\- Sure cutie, tell yourself that nice tale! I know what game you’re playing, but I don’t mind. A single week is enough for me to make you capitulate, maybe even less than a week! -

Now he’s the one who is exaggerating with his hopes and expectations.

Chris and Steve come back from their break.  
“You’re arriving just in time to hear the news.. “ Stefan turns to them “Thanks to those two big geniuses, especially him.. “ he goes on, pointing his accusing index on Matthew. “We gotta speed up and be done with the song in one week. At least, this is the plan!” he concludes.  
“What? Did you really say one week? With all the journeys and gigs included?” Steve wonders astonished.  
“Damn you, Bells! Let’s make this clear, I’m not going to do an overtime due to that project!” Chris protests.  
“Neither am I!” Dom, Stefan and Steve join his protest at unison.

\- Instead, I’d like to make an overtime with you.. but without the rest of our bands.. and, to be honest, without even necessarily playing… - Brian daydreams.

“Now, don’t take it as The Eleventh Commandment! If we manage to do that it’s going to be good for us. If we don’t, no problem, we’ll just take it easier, I don’t want anyone to get stressed with too much work. Anyway, I think that it would be a great thing to manage being done with the whole project before the end of these UK stages .. “ Matthew clarifies, dreading a general mutiny.  
“That sounds better. Well, we’ll see what we can do.. “ Chris grumbles.

“Yeah. I also think that you should take it easier. After all, it’s a matter of making two bands play together, so you have to distribute the roles with more attention. In a word, it’s not just ‘Placebo featuring Matthew Bellamy ‘, but it’s ‘Placebo featuring Muse’.. “ Alex explains.

“Hey, hey, wait a minute. What’s this story? Why are we the featured ones?” Matthew protests.  
“Oh, c’mon, Matt, don’t be a baby, it was just an example!” Tom rolls his eyes.  
“Yes. I didn’t think that this issue was so important to you.. “ Brian comments.  
“In fact, it’s not that important.. “ Matthew replies. “Because I already took for granted that our name’s going to appear first!” he adds.

“No way! For what absurd reason should we do things like that?” Brian makes an objection .  
“It seems pretty obvious to me. It’s a matter of alphabetical order. I don’t know what kind of schools you attended, but let me inform you that ‘M’ always appears before ‘P’ !” Matthew states, taking a step closer towards him.  
“That justifies nothing! It’s more important the length of the name. ‘Muse ‘ is as short as an accent .. and accents are always last!” Brian states, taking a step closer towards him, too.  
“This is the most stupid excuse I have ever heard!” Matt strikes back.

 

“Ok, let’s put things like this, then. We’ve been around for more years than you, so.. “  
“No way! Don’t even resort to the ‘more years than you ‘ device. We’ve been playing together since when we were twelve years old or a little bit more.. “ Matthew cuts him off.  
“But you got known much later, so there must probably be a reason why.. “ Brian teases him, as both of them keep glaring at each other.

“Alright. Here’s the Unresolved Sexual Tension, Part Two!” Dominic exults in a soft tone, turning to Chris.  
“Oh, please Dom, be good, at least you. Those two are already pathetic enough!” Chris mutters, almost desiring to go out again.

In the meantime, their quarrel goes on, until..

“Excuse me, how old are you?” Tom cuts them off.  
“You should know, I’m twenty-eight years old, my birthday was a few months ago, you even were at my party!” Matthew answers, not understanding the reason for that question.  
“I’ll be thirty-four in a few months.. “ Brian answers, confused as well.  
“Well, hearing you it doesn’t seem so!” Tom states.

“It’s true, I believe that my kids are much better than you in matters of maturity!” Chris comments.  
“And I can say the same about my little girl!” Steve adds.

“Uff, I thought that it was a criterion to decide who must appear first, due to the age.. “ Brian snorts.

“Oh, c’mon, I can’t see where the problem is. Each of you makes his band’s name appear first on the respective album and the other band’s name become the featured one… “ Alex suggests, sure that she has solved the insurmountable dilemma out.

Brian and Matthew look at her and then they ponder for a few seconds.

“And what will we do when the single comes out?” Matthew asks her.  
“And what will we do when the video passes on MTV?” Brian asks her at the same time

 

“Let me remind you that you haven’t written a single note yet, so.. isn’t it a little bit too soon to think about this stuff? Plus, Brian, who the hell told you that there’ll be a video, too? Anyway, now just do the hell quit it, both of you, because you’re giving me a headache!” Alex snaps, exasperated.

“There’s something else to fix. I have to modify some of your dates here if you seriously want to work on the project, otherwise you will end up in two different places that are far too distant for you to meet.. “ Tom warns them.  
“It’s the same with you, guys.. “ Alex informs the Placebo and they just nod without any complain.

“Wait a minute. What does it mean that you’ll have to modify the dates?” Matthew gets disquiet.  
“It’s just a matter of postponing something, there’re no deletions planned, so calm down. About the six concerts you were supposed to perform, you’re going to do just four ones. The other two will be postponed to autumn, when you’ll come back to England. If it’s ok for you I can already warn the media.. “

Matthew makes a very doubtful face.  
“Oh, c’mon, I’m sure that your fans won’t be upset.. maybe just a little bit. There will be just a little delay. Maybe it will change their plans, but I’m sure they all will be there, or at least nine out of ten.. “ the manager tries to persuade him.  
“You think so..” he mutters.  
“Shit, Matt, what the hell can I do to convince you? Should I call all the ticket-offices and assure myself that there’s no refunds?” Tom asks him, sarcastically.  
“Would you really do that?” Matt asks him, hopefully.  
“Geez, I was just kidding!” Tom points out, rolling his eyes.  
“Uh! Yes, right, I knew it, I was kidding, too..” Matthew shrugs.

“Yeah, sure. Oh, c’mon, I just don’t understand all this caring for the fans. As far as I’m concerned, if they come to our shows, good, if they don’t manage, it means that they don’t love us enough!” Brian states.  
“How can you talk like that? To be a rock star doesn’t mean to be God. Plus, fans are everything, without them we wouldn't be here now, and I’m talking for both of us..” Matthew comments. “Although the only positive thing about not being here now is that we wouldn’t have to realize this bloody damn project!” he adds.

“Let me remind you that you were excited about that at the beginning!” Tom makes him notice.  
“You said that. I *was *. Past tense. Things have changed since the beginning.. “ he points out.  
“And they can change a whole lot more.. “ Brian warns him, allusively.  
“Shut the hell up! Well, I guess we’re done here for today.. “ Matthew changes topic as quick as a flash.

“Yes, and you’d better get ready. You have a sound-check that’s waiting for you in a couple of hours..” Tom reminds them.  
“That’s just perfect. At least, I won’t have to bear your annoying presence all day long!” Matt exults, turning to Brian, and then he turns towards Steve, Stefan and Alex with a more serene and cordial expression.  
“Nothing personal with you, of course. See you tomorrow, guys!” he waves his hand, smiling, before leaving with Chris, Dominic and Tom.

\- So, you think that you won’t see me all day long, don’t you? My poor ingénue boy, you’re so wrong.. - Brian meditates as he watches him go away.

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you want to find out what our dear Brian is up to (Although I’m sure it’s pretty easy to figure out.. ) , don’t miss next chapter!  
> No matter how absurd this story is, I hope you still like it.


	7. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian wants to see Matthew.. but what does Matthew want?

MEN Arena, 11: 44 p.m.

“And this was the last song. Thanks for coming. It was a pleasure to have you here tonight, a fucking huge pleasure!” Matthew exclaims.

Usually he doesn’t talk very much between the songs and it doesn’t depend on if the crowd speaks his same language or not. But once he reaches the end, he bothers to say at least some sentences.

“See you all at the next show, good night!” Chris says bye.  
To greet the crowd, Dominic chooses to play a drum solo, short but frantic and then gets up, approaching the edge of the stage, waving his hand as the other is busy playing with a drumstick.

Meanwhile Chris and Matt are hurling on his drum set mercilessly, half destroying it.  
Once they are done, the three guys leave with satisfied faces. Once again they gave all they had, just as almost every night.

“Well, you guys always enjoy crashing down my poor drums, but there’s never a single time that you help me set that, and that’s not something simple at all!” Dom grumbles.  
“That’s why we don’t help you !” Matthew strikes back, exchanging an understanding gaze with Chris.  
“C’mon, Dom, cheer up, we promise that sooner or later we’ll make you forgive us.. “ Chris declares.  
“How?”  
“Well, surely not by helping you set up the drums. But one night we might use a guitar and a bass guitar we don’t like very much, so once we’re done we can give them to you and you’ll be free to smash them as you please. Plus, for once we won’t even touch your drums, what do you think, hmm?” Matthew suggests to him.  
“Uhmm.. yeah, sounds good. No, wait! Cause I’ve already planned a very special treatment for your instruments! Once I’m done with it, they will barely make a sound!” Dominic chuckles, making the others smile, too.

They keep walking, passing near the crush barriers. Among several yells and chats Matt manages to vaguely overhear the dialogue of two girls standing in the first row.

“Did you hear about that? It seems that tonight there’s another celebrity around in the backstage area. There were three girls here before you came back and they bragged about the fact that they met him, had his autograph and took a pic with him, too.. “ the first one exclaims.  
“Who is it?” the other one asks.  
“Uh, give me a minute to recall his name… they had said it.. I guess it’s Ryan Moloko, Mollok.. or something like that… Anyway, it seems that he played here yesterday, with his band, but I don’t know them.. “ her friend explains, as the other shrugs with clear indifference.

But Matthew heard even too much.  
He turns towards them, and he’s about to get closer and to ask them to explain what they are talking about, but as soon as the two girls realize that he’s turned and now he’s watching them, they just lose control and start jumping and screaming madly, trying to push themselves over the barriers. But fortunately the security guy keeps them from doing that.  
“Oh, my God! It’s Matt, IT’S MATT! MAAATTHEEEEEWWW, WE LOVE YOU!!” they both scream as loud as they can, trying to dodge the security guy out of their way. But it’s simply an impossible thing to do.  
Matthew just nods his head and smiles at them, keeping his distance and immediately regretting his previous intentions, as their screams get even louder.

\- Oh, god, those two are a real pain! They’re even worse than the alarm system in my car! I just wonder where do all the normal fans, the calmer ones, go? Only if I had the wish to die I’d get closer to those possessed girls! - he rolls his eyes, heading towards the backstage area.

\- Nuts as they are, they must have misunderstood everything, I ‘m sure they just made up this story and there’s no.. -

Matthew doesn’t even manage to end his thought, because he finds himself face to face with Brian.

“Well, I have to say that the acoustic tonight is much better than yesterday. It seems that the technicians like you more.. “ he exclaims. “No wonder why.. “ he adds in a lower tone.  
“Quit it. Tell me, what the hell are you doing here?” Matt snaps.  
“You know, as it’s easy to figure out, the security guys let me in without any trouble, also because yesterday they worked for us! So, saving some fans who managed to sneak though the backstage and approached to me, I enjoyed your whole show peacefully .. oh, who the hell am I kidding? I arrived here just during the last two songs, I could never ever stand that total boredom for so long!” he corrects himself, annoying Matthew even more and he is already not in the best mood at all.

“By the way, some fans who give more attention to me, although they’re here at your concert.. isn’t it strange? You’d better think about that.. “ Brian adds, since he enjoys teasing him way too much.  
But Matthew is not upset at all.

“It’s something more than normal. I don’t expect to be the first favourite band of every fan of mine, to be in their top ten is already enough!” he shrugs, and then it’s his turn to tease him, and he has the right topic. “Anyway, you know, tonight there were also fans who don’t even know what your name is. As you can see, everything is balanced!” he informs him, enjoying with visible satisfaction Brian’s pissed off face after that news.  
But the effect lasts just a few seconds and on Brian’s face appears a smile again.

“Anyway, this is a free country, so I’m free to pay a visit to my favourite artist, am I not? “ he goes on.  
“What? You don’t even like our songs. And you made this point clear once again just a couple of minutes ago!” Matt makes him notice, irritated.  
“Who ever said that it’s due to your songs?” he winks at him.  
“I already told you to bloody quit it. It’s not fun anymore!” Matthew summons him.  
“Ah-ah. Gotcha! It means that there was a time when this was fun to you… “ Brian observes, very pleased.  
“No. that’s not what I meant!” the other guy clears the point.

 

Chris and Dominic have watched the whole quarrel between them without saying a single word, until Dominic decides to break that silence.  
“Hey, Brian, is there also Stef here, maybe?” he asks him with two eyes that are the fifth essence of hope.  
“No, I’m sorry, there’s just me, the others stayed at the hotel.. “ Brian answers, noticing that is interlocutor now is a bit upset. Luckily, he knows how to cheer him up.  
“Anyway, he said that he waits for you to reach him in his room, later.. “ he adds, giving him new hopes.  
In fact, it’s enough to make Dominic smile again.

\- Good. At least, as long as they’re here with me, I can be safe and sound.. - Matthew thinks with relief.

“Hey, Chris, what about going to the fans, signing some autographs and spending some time with them? It’s been ages since we’ve done that. C’mon, let’s go!” Dominic suggests, dragging him away without giving him not even the time to answer and leaving Matthew and Brian alone, indeed.

Matthew has the absolute certainty that his friend did that on purpose, maybe even sure that he was making a favour to him.

\- Note to myself: kill Dom! - he takes a mental note, and then he turns to Brian again.

“Look, you’re just wasting your time, here. Geez, what bloody language have I to speak to make you understand that I just hate you?” he informs him, exasperated.  
“Hate is always a feeling. And feelings can change very quickly.. “ Brian strikes back, getting closer.

\- Why doesn’t he understand? Why doesn’t he leave me alone’ Why has he to be so unbearably stubborn? What did I ever do so bad to deserve that? But mostly… why is already more than fifteen seconds that I’m doing nothing but staring at his mouth? - Matt wonders, puzzling himself on his own.

Brian seems to notice that particular interest from him and decided to take advantage of that.

\- So, you like my mouth, don’t you? And to think that you could do so much more than just look at it.. - he thinks, making the distance between them even shorter, so much that their faces can almost touch.

\- Oh, god, no, what the hell is he doing now? Does he plan to kiss me? No way. Now I’ll just back off and.. Well? Why am I not backing off? - Matthew realizes, very concerned.

\- Well, well, it seems that you have a very bizarre way to hate me, cutie. And to think that I should just lean a little bit closer and.. But for now, your confused face is already enough for me.. - Brian smiles to himself, parting from him.

Matthew tries to recover from that bewildering and odd mix of sensations he felt, although he didn’t plan to feel them at all.

“Fine. No, wait, bad, very bad. Anyway, I think it’s time for me to take a shower, and before your mind fills with strange, wicked ideas, I mean ALONE!” the boy makes things clear.  
“And before I’m back, why don’t you make a favour also to yourself and disappear?” he warns him, getting in his room and closing the door behind his back.

Brian decided to follow his advice.  
After all, for that night he already got even more than what he expected.

TBC


	8. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working on the project ..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one are a little bit more ‘static ‘ , hope you won’t find that boring, since it’s more focalized on the music stuff…

It’s a very nice morning at Manchester and the sun is shining blissfully.  
It’s their last day here, and both Placebo and Muse have no concerts on their list, also because they both have to take the plane to Birmingham, the next stop of their tour dates.  
Unfortunately for Brian, and of course fortunately for Matthew, the two bands are going to be on two different airplanes.

Usually, a day like that would mean, relax plus free and wild wander around the town. But not this time, since they’re all closed up inside the walls of the recording studio, to work on what Matthew would call ‘the bloody damn project ‘, with the two managers as supervisors.

“From now on the phase of recording begins for real, and no one is gonna leave this room until you’ve created something concrete, even if it’s a thirty seconds song.. “ Alex exclaims.  
“In the other room everything is already set. You just have to plug in your instruments. Plus, we also put a piano and two acoustic guitars in there. Choose the ones you want to use, anyway, since you’re six, if I were you I’d take advantage of that to involve as many instruments as possible.. “ Tom gives his advice.

“So, we start with the music!” Matthew observes with visible relief.  
“Yes, at least that was the plan. Maybe do you prefer to start it from the lyrics? If you want we can also do things that way.. “ Tom wonders.  
“NO!” Matthew answers, with a louder tone than planned, scared just by the thought.

Because, according to the fact that Dom and Chris never give him a big help with the lyrics, just as he’s sure that neither do Steve and Stefan, Matthew knows very well that working on the lyrics means one thing only: to work with Brian. Only the two of them…alone.

And Matthew would like to postpone that as late as possible, or even better, to avoid it at all, and that’s due to two very simple reasons: the first one is that he doesn’t trust Brian, but the second reason why, the most important and worrying one, is that he can’t even trust himself anymore, not after what happened or almost happened the night before.

And he doesn’t like that one bit.

“I mean, it’s wonderful to begin with the music. After all, everything always starts with the music, first.. “ he justifies, with a calmer tone.  
Brian stares at him with his arms crossed over his chest, his face a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

“Well, I guess you can start now, it’s useless to waste more time.. “ Tom incites them as he prepares to leave, followed by Alex.  
“Hey, where the hell do you think you are going?” Brian questions them.  
“Just away. It seems pretty clear to me.. “ Alex explains.  
“But, you have said ‘no one is gonna leave this room until.. blah, blah, blah’, haven’t you?” Stefan makes them notice.  
“With ‘no one‘ we meant just you. Music is your business, we did our job. We leave you free to do whatever you please with the song, just don’t let us down.. “ the woman explains.

“Yeah, About you two.. “ Tom adds, glaring first at Matthew and then at Brian. “Let me remind you that this is a recording studio and not a wrestling ring! So, you’re six and you gotta remain six!” Tom comments, joking.

“See you at the airport on 4:00 p.m., and please, try to be on time for once. The airplane can’t wait for you eternally!” Alex turns to Placebo and they nod, pretty annoyed.

“I’ll meet you there on the next flight, at 5:30 p.m. … “ Tom reminds his band, and after that the two managers leave the studio, taking two different directions.

“So, did you understand those two old crooks? They dumped us here with our ‘homework‘ to do!” Dominic grumbles.  
“Bloody unfair world! In my next life I’m going to be a manager, too!” Matthew grumbles.  
“Alright, but now let’s concentrate on the present time, ok? We have a song to write and the others are waiting for us in the other room, so why don’t we join them, hmm?” Chris exhorts them, since he always has to act as the adult of the trio.  
Because there are moments where looking after his two beloved kids or looking after Matt and Dom doesn’t seem to be such a big difference to him!

They reach the others in the room next door and plug their instruments in.  
“What about a nice improvised jam session, just to warm up a little bit?” Steve suggests, as Dominic takes his place behind the other drum kit.  
“I agree!” the blond affirms, beating the two drumsticks against each other.  
As their only answer, Brian, Stefan and Chris put the straps of their guitars on.  
First Matthew looks at the piano, but a few moments later he also chooses his trustworthy electric guitar.

“Geez, with two drums, two bass guitars and two guitars something powerful will come out!” Chris states, checking the chords quickly.  
“There’s only one way to find out.. “ Stef exclaims, starting with a riff.  
At the third time repeating, Chris tries to join him with a riff which is little bit different but mixed with Stef ’s one, not that bad at all.  
But then, out of the blue, also the two drums and the two guitars join them, and everyone does whatever he pleases, without caring about what the others are doing. The result, also amplified by the very good acoustic implant, is more than disastrous, even if all of them are such great professional players.  
In fact, they hold on for at least a minute and then they all stop, almost at the same time.

“What the f**k was that shit?” Matthew exclaims, bursting out laughing.  
“Well, it was powerful as hell, too bad that it‘s all the rest that just sucks!” Chris comments, amused as well.  
“We should record it and give it to Alex and Tom, saying that that’s the completed project. They would risk a heart attack!” Steve chuckles.  
“Well, why don’t we play that at our concerts? If I can call that f**king chaos ‘to play‘. Anyway, I wonder why, but I have the odd feeling that if we really did that, you wouldn’t find any fan within a range of twenty kilometres!” Brian comments with irony.  
“Just twenty kilometres?! Molks, you’re an optimistic!” Stefan chuckles. “Well, what about erasing this horror from our memories and trying to set up something that has at least some sense?” he adds, immediately after.

“Ok, but, honey, you can’t deny that it was funny as hell!” Dom winks at him.  
“Oh, yes, baby, it really was fun indeed!” he strikes back with a seducing look.

And it’s enough this really short but mushy scenery between the two to make the other four want to resume working seriously.  
Almost as if attracted by a magnetic force, Matthew takes place at the piano.

“First things first. What kind of song do we want to create? Something totally slow or totally fast? Slow at the beginning and then faster? Fast at the beginning and then quieter? Something that keeps changing its rhythm? Something electric, alternative , experimental.. ? Something.. I don’t know, is there any other kind of song left?” he wonders.  
“I don’t know. Whatever comes out, we’ll take it. After all, we can always modify that. So, do you have any idea?” Brian asks him.

“Maybe. I don’t know.. I already have an intro playing in my mind and we could also use it as outro. I’m thinking about something calm, quiet, sweet. Something like this.. “ saying that, he begins touching the keyboard, creating a tinkling and graceful melody that increases its velocity and intensity, and then it ends with a skilful slide on the piano and a follow up of notes in a progressive order that ends with the higher one.

Brian watches him play enraptured, maybe because he has always heard him play the guitar, or he has never paid much attention to that.  
But now that he’s doing it, he has to realize the difference: he can also play the piano, but Matt can enchant with it. He can create some kind of magic that seems able to make every soul find peace.  
It almost seems like he never did anything else in his whole life. According to the fact that he started to learn it at the tender age of six, well this statement isn’t that wrong, after all.

As soon as he stops pressing the last taste, Matthew turns to Brian, eager to know what he thinks.

\- Why am I so damn eager? It’s not that I played to impress him… - he thinks, but it’s just a clear attempt of self convincement.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know absolutely nothing about piano, and probably that thing I called ‘slide ‘ must has its technical definition, but I don’t know it, I just thought about the guitar, since that there it is called slide ;)
> 
> Anyway, I just looooooove whenever Matt plays, of course, also Bri is divine (everytime I hear ‘Centerfolds ‘ it’s a mix of shivers and tears, waaaaawwwwwwww )
> 
> I hope you’ll still like it, but feel free to tell me anything, as always.


	9. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still working on the project ..

“So, what do you think?” Matt asks him with fake indifference.  
“I have to say that. It wasn’t bad at all, it would be quite good as intro.. “ Brian confesses, and that’s not something easy for him. “But why am I telling you that? I bet that you already forgot how it was, so I don’t see why.. “ he adds immediately after, kinda more rudely.  
But he has not even the time to finish his sentence, because Matthew plays the same sequence once again, perfectly identical, without any attempt of variation.

 

“What were you saying?” he asks him, with a clear challenging attitude, his chest swelling with pride, as he writes the notes on a pentagram, in a block-notes on the music-stand.  
Brian is almost half paralyzed by the astonishment, but then he seems to recover.  
“I see that you have an impressing memory. Well, good for you.. “ he shrugs. “But you’re going to play the piano only at the beginning, and then at the end, during the rest of the song you’ll play just the guitar!” Brian summons him.  
“Otherwise what? Are you afraid that I may steal attentions from you?” Matthew teases him.  
“You steal a bloody nothing to anyone! It’s just that I don’t like the piano during all the song. End of the speech!” Brian points out, as his interlocutor can’t hide an amused victory smile.. that the other prefers to ignore.

“Alright. For now we have an intro that lasts about forty seconds. It’s already something!” Chris states, satisfied.  
“That’s right. So we can take a damn break!” Dominic suggests.  
“Do you want to take a break? Dom, you did nothing at all so far!” Chris made him notice.  
“Hey, jam sessions can be very exhausting!” he justifies.  
“Yeah. Especially if we don’t agree first. Next time we should better play something we all know..“ Stefan suggests.  
“It would be enough just to add one by one. Anyway, Dom is right, let’s take a break. After all, it’s already midday and I’m bloody hungry!” Brian states.  
“Me, too. Ok, let’s go and we’ll be back on about 1:30 p.m. So we can work on the song until 3: 30 p.m. , before taking the plane. We are supposed to create something in a couple of hours, aren’t we?” Steve comments.

 

“Sure. After all, if in just less than ten minutes I’ve already found the intro.. “  
“Damn you, Matt! Are you going to brag again any longer due to this bloody thing? Do you want a parade in your honour? Do you want us to name this date ‘Intro Day ‘ so we’ll can celebrate you punctually once in a year?” Brian cuts him off, pretty annoyed.  
“Let’s go eat. That’s better!” Matt hisses, increasing his pace and leaving the building before the others.

“Don’t mind at him. You know, Matt is such a dear guy, but sometimes he can be so irascible.. I mean, it’s so evident that you were just kidding… “ Chris comments.  
“Uh! Sure, I was just kidding, yeah.. “ Brian repeats, with a fake innocent attitude, as they leave with the others.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone come back in the studio, after the break, more or less at the same time.  
After all, once your stomach is full you work better!  
“Fine. So, what are we going to do?” Stefan wonders.  
“Well, as Tom suggested, we should take all the advantages of the fact that we are six. We gotta use as many ingredients as possible, blend them together and..”  
“And let it bake at 200 degrees, for two hours. C’mon, Bells, are you talking about a song.. or a recipe?” Chris makes fun of him.  
“Silly, I know you got what I meant. Anyway, after the piano, I guess the two drums sound pretty good.. What do you think, Dom?“ he turns to his friend.  
“Yes, maybe I could use the Charleston as Steve rolls hard.. “ Dom goes on.  
“And then, it should be the bassists’ turn.. “ Steve adds, turning to Stefan.  
“Yeah, sounds good. Maybe we could do the two slightly different riffs thing, just like in the jam session, before all the other instruments joined and turn into a huge disaster. It wasn’t bad at all.. “ Stefan comments, turning to Chris.  
“Yes, I like that. And then the two guitars come to play.. Hey, Matt, if you want to use more instruments .. why don’t one of you play the electric guitar and the other the acoustic one?” Chris suggests.

“Alright, I perfectly agree and I’ll take good care of the acoustic one, I don’t mind at all, quite the contrary it will be pretty pleasant, just like a dive into the past, at ‘Unintended ‘ days .. “ Matthew smiles, grabbing one of the two acoustic guitars.  
“Alright, so I can have my fun with the electric one. Well, guys, don’t let it be just a pure theory, let’s turn what we said into practice, hmm?” Brian incites them all.

So, Matt takes place at the piano and plays the intro once again, Dom and Steve do their duty, without interfering each other, and Stef and Chris do the same thing.  
In the meantime, Matt has all the time he needs to leave the piano and grab the guitar, but he doesn’t manage not even to pinch a chord, as bewitched as he is to watch Brian play.

He just stands there, almost utterly still, staring at a blank spot, as his fingers run frantically on the keys, alternating fast changes of chords, riffs , and notes to hold for a longer time.  
In that moment he’s there with his body, but his mind is far away, since he seems absorbed in his thoughts, king of a world that is totally his.

And, although unconsciously, Matt desires to belong to that world.

\- Damn me! What the hell am I thinking?- he scolds himself, jolting awake from that kind of trance he fell in, a trance that seems to be deeper than Brian’s one.

In fact, he stops playing, pretty abruptly.  
“No, no, it doesn’t convince me at all. There are way too many rude switches from an instrument to another.. we’ll have to work on that pretty hard, I suppose. Plus, the last chords I played don’t match the rest of the song.. “ he admits unsatisfied, and then he turns to Matthew.  
“Hey, why didn’t you play?” he questions him.  
“Uh? Yeah, I know.. it’s just that.. I couldn’t find the proper way to follow you, so I preferred just to listen to how you dealt with that, without intervening.. “ he justifies.  
“Ok, so now we have to repeat it. But this time we’ll make things this way: you play first and then I’ll come after you..” Brian suggests.

\- As long as you mean it just and only on a musical level!- Matthew thinks, pretty nervy, as he nods.

After all, he just has to look Brian straight into his eyes to figure out that that double meaning.. is purely intentional.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

After half an hour, they are kinda satisfied about at least 1/10 of the whole song.. and they can’t even it call it ‘whole ‘ yet.  
Brian is busy with a riff, when his eye casually falls on Matt as he ‘s dealing with a riff on his own, too, but the curios thing is that he keeps getting closer and closer to one of the amplifier, trying to push his guitar against it.

“C’mon, Matt, just another step and you’ll get inside the amplifier!” Brian makes fun of him, and then he turns to Dominic and Chris, with an interrogative look.  
“What’s wrong with him?” he asks them, as Matthew doesn’t seem to even hear him as he keeps his activity..  
“Oh, no, he does that even with the acoustic guitar, I was sure he did only with the electrical one. I guess he doesn’t do that with the piano or the keyboard just because he can’t drag them there. After all, you saw him , he’s not exactly Mr. Muscle.. “ Dominic comments, shaking his head.  
“Well, just don’t mind at him. We’ve been asking for years why he acts like that.. and haven’t found the answer yet. This is one of those big mystery that will never be revealed!” Chris adds, as Matt finally pulls himself off there, coming back to the others ad stopping playing out of the blue.  
“No, I don’t like this one, either. But I feel that I’m pretty close to find the perfect one, it’s just a matter of time.. “ he observes.

“But we haven’t so much time right now. At least we haven’t, since it’s already 3: 15 p.m., so we’d better stop, otherwise.. bye-bye plane!” Steve points out.  
“Yes, you’re right. Plus, it’s enough for the first day. Birmingham, we’re coming!” Stefan exclaims, as both Brian and he put their instruments inside their folders.  
“Fine. See you again, as soon as we’ll have the new recording studio there , too.. “ Brian waves his bye and the two bands wish each other a nice fly.

 

“So, since now it’s only the three of us, left, I suppose we can g.. “ Dominic states, getting up from his drum-set, but Matt’s guitar cuts him off.  
Both Chris and he turns toward the source of that sound and see Matthew, once again stuck to the amplifier, working hard on that riff. And he seems very determined not to stop until he finds the right one.  
“Ok, never mind!” Dom rolls his eyes.  
“He’s always such a perfectionist!” Chris rolls his eyes, as they are pretty sure that their friend will keep torturing them with his guitar even on the plane!

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Matt’s ‘obsession ‘ with the amplifiers is pretty true. I mean, I saw him do that several during different live show (on tv and dvd ) . Anyway, I just exaggerated it.. just like I’m exaggerating everything in this story ( for example, Brian’s tendency to.. getting a little bit drowsy as he plays , sometimes.. lol) , I just wanted to point that out.
> 
> Hope you’ll still like it. Please, let me know whatever you think.  
> Thanks even just for reading ! ;)


	10. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew and Brian.. in a Hotel room.. all alone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning before you read it: I made a 'little' jump with the tour dates, otherwise the plot would turn out really too long and boring. I just hope this is not a problem...

The days pass frantically. Among the travelling, concerts and extra engagements, Placebo and Muse manage to complete the instrumental base of their song on their last day at Nottingham.

The whole thing turned out to be harder than they thought. The six musicians had practically lost count of all the times they had to delete everything and start it all over again, just to match the others' work. But finally they reached a point that was much more than satisfying. If not even pure perfection, it definitely got damn close to it.

There's no need to say that, with Matthew's measureless joy, no one dared to make him change even one single note of that incredible intro that, by then, he loved like a father would probably love his son.

"Alright, now we can officially say that the 'musical' topic is finally done. And we can't complain about the duration, since six minutes and a little bit more seems pretty enough to me, don't you agree, guys?" Brian comments, as he puts his guitar back into its folder while the others watch his actions.

"Well, it certainly took us lots of time, but I guess it was really worth it." Dominic observes, as all of them are leaving what is already the third recording studio that the managers put at their disposal.

At the exit they meet their managers after being warned by a phone call.  
"So, finally you managed to finish the track. And, according to all the time you spent, it surely has to be an enormous masterpiece!" Alex comments.  
"In all modesty, it is indeed. Trust us, that track will be great!" Stefan states.  
"Anyway, before letting you hear it, we'd prefer to wait until the lyrics are finished, too... " Steve adds, turning towards Brian and Matthew.

"Speaking of the matter, I was wondering… it sounds already so perfect to me that… well, I don't know... maybe the lyrics would spoil it somehow. So why don't we leave it just like it is?" Matthew suggests with nonchalance.

"Are you saying that you want it to remain just an instrumental version? Do you really think that we should print two limited editions of your albums, two singles and… " Tom stops abruptly, turning to Brian. "And even a video-clip... only for a poor instrumental version?" he wonders annoyed.  
"Uhmm, I guess we can't, right?" Matthew realizes on his own how stupid his previous suggestion was.  
"Of course we can't! So, my dear layabout, busy yourself with Brian and write some decent lyrics!" Tom urges him.  
"Oh, don't worry I'll keep him pretty busy, no doubt about that." Brian assures, winking at Matthew.

"And you know what? Since it's just a matter of writing, I think that we won't even need a recording studio. A hotel room will surely do. Uhmm, if I'm not mistaken, we both have a flight to Cardiff this afternoon, haven't we? But since we'll arrive there kinda late and we'll probably need some rest, I suppose it’s better to schedule it for tomorrow. Maybe about 10:30 a.m., you could meet me at the Palace. We can stay in my room and work on the song. After all, I'm sure that it won’t take longer than just one day." Brian suggests.

 

\- Me alone with him and in his room? Geez, things are getting worse and worse. Think, Matthew, think of an excuse! - the guy summons himself, but not all quiet.

"Well, this is just perfect. So, we have to book the recording studio just when you need it for the final recording." Alex comments.  
"I don't think so!" Matthew protests and draws everyone’s attention to him. "I guess we should better use the recording studio and stay there, all of us." he goes on.  
"Why? You know that the lyrics are not exactly our specialty. That's your job. I'm sure it will come out something great!" Dominic answers, pretty calm, but the glare he throws to Matthew seems to say 'Don't even try to mess up my day off!'

"I'm not asking this for the lyrics only. It's just that I think it's better if we repeat the song together to keep the music in mind, you know." the other tries to justify.  
"You're kidding right? I know you very well and you usually need to listen to a melody just twice to almost utterly memorize it. And this morning we played that song something like what? … ten times? Tell me, why should you need to listen to it again?" Chris makes him notice. "Anyway, if you really need to hear it again, I have good news for you. Maybe you didn't notice, but I recorded it while we played it for the last time." he goes on, pulling out a CD from the pocket of his bass guitar’s folder.

"Here you are. You can keep it, so you can listen to it as much as you please and won't need us!" he concludes, giving him the CD, without caring about Matthew throwing at him a glare that could melt an iceberg!  
Poor Matthew, even Chris wants to keep his free day, no matter what!  
"Thank you, Chris, you're always so provident, I don't know what I would do without you.” Matthew forces himself to smile at him, while in his mind he plots something not as gentle as his words.

\- Note to self: besides Dom, kill Chris, too, and then start a career as soloist! - he updates his personal black list, as he puts that 'providential' CD in the folder of his guitar.

"Alright, it seems that the problem is solved. See you tomorrow. Bye, Matthew, bye, guys, have a nice flight!" Brian waves his hand, leaving with the others.

\- I already know that the flight will be alright. It's once we land that my trouble will begin.. - Matthew thinks, pretty concerned.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cardiff, 10:39 a.m.

 

"Hey, it's not fair! At the Prince there's not the view of the sea! You got a better Hotel!" Matthew protests, coming back from the large balcony of Brian's room.  
"So, now that you finished exploring every single corner of my room, can we start or what?" Brian grumbles, sat on his bed, kinda annoyed by the boy's intrusiveness.  
"Uh, yeah, sorry, it's just that I like to compare other hotel rooms to mine, but now we can start .. " the others answers, drawing out a block notes and a pen.

"Usually, it's the last thing I take care of, anyway, how do we wanna name this song?" he asks him, drumming with the pen against the block notes and leaning against the French window.  
Brian looks at him deeply, with a sly smile.  
" 'You will be mine '!" he exclaims.

Matthew jolts and the pen slips from his fingers, landing on Brian's bed.  
"I really hope for you that that was only a suggestion for the title!" he comments.  
"Well, it's up to you to decide that!" the other teases him, giving the pen back to him.

"If you don't give the hell up with this shit, I inform you that 'Black-eyed' won't be just a song of yours anymore, but it will turn into a very concrete reality!" Matt threats him, showing him a fist.  
His only answers, Brian bursts out laughing.  
"It could be fun. Did I ever tell you that I'm also a masochist a little bit, so pain turns me on even more?" he informs him.  
"Dammit, I don't bloody know how to deal with you!" the other grumbles.  
"Instead, I surely know how I'd like to deal with you.. " the front man of Placebo strikes back, mischievously.

"Shut the fuck up and let's come back to the damn song. By the way, why do we have to be in the same room? This is the kind of job we can perfectly do by the phone, for example, with you being here and me being.. at the opposite side of the Planet!" Matthew states, but Brian stares at him in disbelief.  
"What? Oh, right.. I have the concert, I can't be at the opposite side of the world. But I can be at my Hotel. yeah, I guess we'll do things like that.. " he suggests, approaching to the door.

"Nice try, cutie. but we are stuck here until we're done and you know that better than me. So, now be a good boy and come back here to work.. " Brian incites him, patting the other side of the bed.  
"Ok for coming back to work. but.. no way! I'm not gonna sit so close to you!" Matthew points out, taking a chair at the opposite side of the room, before sitting on it.  
"Whatever!" Brian rolls his eyes, laying down the bed.  
"Uh, Brian, there's another thing.. " Matthew adds quietly.  
"What?"  
"GIVE THE FUCK UP CALLING ME 'CUTIE'!" the guy snaps.

"As you wish, My Sweet Prince!" Brian winks at him.  
"Arrgh, that's even worse!" Matthew grimaces in disgust.  
"Ok, Nancy Boy!" Brian chuckles.  
"No way! That's the worst ever!"  
"That's what you are!" Brian shrugs.

"What? Do * you * call * me * Nancy Boy? Hello, aren't you the same guy that a bunch of years ago, when you still had longer hair, was often mistaken for a girl and even approached by other guys? It's you who said that once in an interview.." Matthew makes him notice.  
"Touchè!" Brian admits, but then he looks at him, narrowing his eyes.  
"Anyway, how did you know about that? So, admit it, you care about me, at the very end... " he smiles.  
"Don't flatter yourself. It's just that one night I was at home, I had nothing to do, so I turned my PC on and checked the web, for fun. I visited tons of sites, discovering tons of things. And on one of those sites there was a link to ' Celebrities' weirdest interviews '. I clicked it and started reading here and there. There was even one about Dom and I .. who said such things that I guess we were pretty drunk that day.. And then I read yours, too, where you said that. And there was even a pic of you, back to those days. No wonder why they mistook you for a girl, you really looked like one!" the other explains.  
"So, tell me, was that the kind of girl who would have a chance with you?" Brian wonders curiously.  
"That's not the point, so don't even try!" Matthew warns him.

"Ok, let's come back to the song!" Brian gives in.  
"Wise decision. It's almost 11:00 a.m. and we haven't done anything yet. About the titles, how do you pick them up usually?" Matthew asks him.  
"Well, usually I name them according to the word or the sentence I use the most in that song. Anyway, there are also some titles that has nothing to do with the lyrics.. it depends.. " the others explains.  
"I usually prefer titles that has nothing to do with the lyrics, but not always.. Anyway, if I had to pick up a title that has nothing to do with the lyrics, whatever they will be, but fits the reality, it would surely be 'Forced To Do Something We Thought We Liked' " Matthew declares.

"You know what? I like that!" Brian informs him.  
"Really?"  
"Really. No matter whatever our song will be about , that will be its title!" Brian assures as Matt writes it on his notebook.  
"Ok. Step Number Two. let's find the damn lyrics!" he suggests, and for some odd reasons he has the feeling that it won't be something so immediate as the title.

 

TBC


	11. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian can be very stubborn, even too much!

“First things first. What do we wanna talk about? Before you speak, let me tell you something: no, absolutely NO love stuff. I don’t care if it’s romantic, sad, mutual, not mutual, sappy, fluffy.. whatever, it’s just not the case” Matthew points out.  
“Ok, no love stuff, I agree. Let’s see what ‘s left. Politic ? “ Brian wonders.  
“No , I’ve already written a lot about that in our last album. Religion?” the other wonders.  
“Naaah, too boring!”  
“Yeah, I don’t even know why I suggested that!”  
“And, please, I don’t either want something like ‘We love music because that’s the most beautiful thing in the world ‘ . No matter how true it can be, it would sound way too much like boyband stuff .. eeeww!” Brian comments, horrified.  
“Yes, you’re right, and we’d better also avoid too big messages such as the peace in the whole world. Also because it would be kinda hypocritical, since there’s a war between you and me!” Matt makes him notice.

“So, no love stuff, and I also suggest no hate, rage or revenge. Plus, we said no politics, no religions, no too big messages.. “ Brian sums up.  
Matthew and he stare at each other thoughtful, before the same idea hit them like a blaze.  
“Something abstract, with some refined words, here and there.. “ Brian exclaims.  
“You’ve just read my mind! Let’s make something that means everything and nothing at all at the same time, something that anyone can interpret as they please.. “ Matthew agrees.

“Yeah, yeah, I‘ve already a couple of sentences in my mind… “ Brian states, mirroring the other’s action and taking a pen and a notebook, too.  
“And speaking of the intro, I have some ideas for that, too. You sing at the beginning, with your usual tweeting way. And then, at the end I could repeat your same words on your same music, but speaking instead of singing. I like speaking in the songs, I did it sometimes and it has always turned extremely good! What do you think?” Brian suggests.  
“Well, why not? We can do that, if you want. I like this speaking thing.. “ Matthew agrees. “Anyway, I don’t tweet!” he adds immediately after, pretty insulted.  
“Believe me, you do!” the other insists, pissing him off even more.  
“You know what? I must thank you, you’ve just reminded me of why I dislike you so damn much!” the first one strikes back.  
“It’s always a pleasure!” the second one winks.

“Now, let’s concentrate on the song. I guess I’ll start from the intro.. “  
“And I’m gonna help you..” Brian informs him.  
“As long as you keep your distance!”  
“I’ll do, but you can’t even begin to imagine what you’re missing.. “  
“And I don’t want to know.. “  
“Oh, yes, you do!”  
“Stop it, Brian. First, let’s think about the damned song!”  
“So, we can think about the rest after that, hmm?” Brian insists.  
“No, because there’s no rest to think about. Only this bloody fucking song!” the other rolls his eyes.

 

And between fights and witty remarks, when they manage to finish the intro it’s already time for lunch. And lunch means a break for them, that’s not even a proper break, since, on mutual agreement, their managers wait for them at the dining room , to verify their work and discuss about it.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

“Ok, fine. Now, let me see the real sheet!” Alex exclaims, in utter disbelief.  
“For the last time, this is not a joke. The real sheet is just and only this one!” the leader of Placebo points out.  
“So, do you wanna make us believe that you wrote just a stupid intro in half morning?” Tom observes, looking at Matthew with diffidence.  
“First, it’s not stupid. Second, since the intro is also the outro, it’s as if we already wrote two parts of the song. Third, we’ve spent the rest of the time arguing and that’s something inevitable that requests a lots of energies.. “ the leader of Muse justifies.  
“And fourth, as you can see, we already thought about the title, too!” he adds.  
“Oh, it must have been such an effort!” Tom grumbles. “But you know what? I like it, I must admit it. It’s unusual, audacious and that’s why it could work.. “ he adds.  
“Yeah, I find it nice, too. It’s ironic and creates such a contrast with the lyrics, at least the ones I can read now, since this five sentences make me think about something deep and spiritual.. “ Alex comments.  
“Yeah. Although even we have absolutely no idea of what the hell we are talking about, it surely is deep and it will still be.. “ Brian assures.

“And tell me, I bet you have also no idea about how such a title popped in your mind!” Tom add, sarcastically.  
“You guessed right. What can we say? Pure inspiration, out of the blue!” Matt answers, sarcastically as well.

 

“Anyway, we want the sugared almonds!” he adds immediately after, looking at the two managers with a knowing smile.  
“Ok, what and mostly how much did you smoke?” Tom asks him, as perplexed as concerned.  
“I mean it for the day of your Wedding!” Matthew explains.  
“Yeah. Think about it. Since the fist day we met, you two have never ever have a different opinion on anything. So, if you get so damn along, you can do nothing but getting married as soon as possible!” Brian comments, playing Matt’s game, exchanging an understanding gaze with him.

For one moment, Alex and Tom look at each other, embarrassed  
“You, idiots! Instead of being so witty, why don’t you try to imitate us and get along a little bit more?” Tom teases them.  
“I seriously doubt that this can be possible. There are more chances for both of us to get a nominee in a ‘Best Pop ‘ category than for us to do what you’ve just suggested!” Matthew strikes back and Brian nods, amused by his answer.

“Ok, you made your point. So, now, since your break is over, come back in the room and work hard, because you must be done for tonight. We promised that we would send your song, completed and ultimate, to the two labels for tomorrow, so don’t even try anything funny!” Alex warns them.

“Calm down, guys. Even if that was the last thing we did, for tonight you’ll have those bloody lyrics!” Matthew grumbles, leaving.  
“And for tomorrow you’ll have the damned CD with the damned completed song!” Brian grumbles, following him.

“Well, it’s really touching to see how much they love that project, don’t you think so?” Tom comments sarcastically.  
“Yeah, touching, because it really makes me wanna cry!” Alex adds.

Tom stares at her, thoughtful.  
“What’s wrong?” she wonders, feeling awkward.  
“The guys are right: you and me get scarily along!” he observes.  
“Uh! Maybe, but.. it’s just and only something professional..” she points out.  
“Oh, yes, sure, no doubt about it!” he nods, before a sudden silence fall between them.

Isn’t it ironic? Even this time they have the same opinion!

********************** (In the meantime)

Brian and Matt have already taken their notebooks, ready to start again. To help themselves better, they decide to listen to the instrumental base.  
After all, at the very end, it seems that the CD Chris gave to them has some usefulness.

“When do you think the verse should better start? After the first drums or after the second bass?” Matt asks Brian, but when they listen to the music they both find the answer.  
“After the second bass!” they decide, beginning to write, letting the music lead and inspire them.

\-----------------------------------

And bit after bit, reading their sentences to each other and figuring out which ones work better and which ones don’t fit, the two guys manage to complete the whole song.  
There’s no need to say that that surely wasn’t the most peaceful of all the negotiations!

And then, they face the next step, which is to divide the parts, deciding who sings what, how and when, and if they’d better ask Stefan and Chris for help in the chorus.  
They check it all up once again and also try to sing it on the base and they both seem to be pretty satisfied, but then Matt’s gaze fall on his watch, realizing that it’s 6:10 p.m.

“Oh my, it’s so late! I’d better go now, so I can make Tom see the lyrics and ask him what he thinks about it, although I won’t change a damn thing anyway!” Matt states, taking all his stuff and going towards the exit, as Brian walks him there.

“Now we just have to record it tomorrow and finally this whole matter will be over!” ha adds, very relieved.  
“Who ever said that this must be really over?” Brian exclaims.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You know damn well what I mean. Listen, on tomorrow we have a gig on the International Arena, and since I know you’re gonna play there the day after, you know where it is. Well, meet me there at the backstage, after the show. This time I’m gonna do so much more than offer a drink to you.. “ Brian warns him, slyly.

“What? Are you trying to date me? You’re a fool. Wait for me as long as you please, I won’t be there for sure!” Matthew assures him, serious and resolute  
“You know what? You’re just afraid. And fear is the worst enemy of desire.. “ the other strikes back.  
“I have no fears, I have no desires, and I have no.. “ Matt protests, but he can’t talk anymore, since Brian has pulled him to himself, closing his mouth with a kiss that is as innocent as short, just like two little kids would kiss each other.  
It’s a very rapid and chaste contact of lips, nothing more, but it’s enough to shock Matthew.

“I. You.. you.. you ki.. “ he stutters, opening the door and backing off, towards the corridor, step by step.  
“Oh, c’mon, you can say that, it’s not gonna kill you. Yes, I kissed you. If you can call it a kiss, that’s it! “ Brian admits. “But if you want the rest, I already told you what to do.. “ he adds.

“You, dirty pervert, you had no rights to do that! Who the fuck do you think you are? If you think that I care about you, you’re damn wrong! To me you’re nothing more than an unbearable, arrogant colleague whom I’m forced to work with, but not for long, lucky for me! Because, once this fucking song is over, you’ll never see me again, so you’ll be nothing more than a pale memory that I’ll bury deep inside my mind, as hard as I can. Just a horrible, disgusting memory!” Matthew snaps, inundating Brian with his bitter outburst, and then he walks towards the elevator.

Brian still has to recover from his unexpected reaction , but he hurries up to close the door, to prevent Matt from seeing his upset and hurt expression, in case he looks back.

But Matt doesn’t even think about looking back, as he pass a thumb on his lips, almost trembling.  
In all his life, he has never ever felt so confused as he is now.  
Tons of questions dwell inside his head, but he prefers not to search for the answers.

He lied to Brian before.  
He is afraid. A lot.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, this time is not funny at all.  
> But you trust in me, don’t you???  
> You know, I couldn’t make Matthew jump on Brian, all cheerful, yelling ‘ Yesss, my love, that’s’ wonderful, let’s run away together! ‘ .. don’t you agree?  
> I just hope I didn’t make him have a too (or not enough) tough reaction.. what do you think?
> 
> Anyway, I swear I’ll solve the disaster I made, maybe not immediately in next chapter, or in the one after that… but I’ll solve it, I give you my word.  
> About Bri’s room, don’t forget it, maybe it’s not the last time you see it.. ;)
> 
> I hope you’ll like it so far, but, as always , feel free to tell me anything!


	12. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day after..

The day after, both bands arrive on time at the recording studio that the two managers have dutifully booked for them.  
Tom and Alex thought it was better to keep them busy until the afternoon, but the six artists are sure that half of the morning will be more than enough.

Everyone takes care of his instrument and there is a pleasant and playful atmosphere between the guys, except for Brian and Matthew. Things couldn’t have been icier between them.  
Everyone expected the same good old quarrelling and bantering that had almost become a routine during those past two weeks, therefore seeing the two front-men so silent and focused just and only on work leaves them all pretty puzzled.

 

Well… not everyone actually, since Stefan is the only one who knows what happened between them.  
After all, Brian and Stefan have such a special connection that they can’t hide anything from each other.

Instead, despite the big and deep friendship that bounds Matt to Dom and Chris, he didn’t tell a soul about what happened.  
Not only does he want that no one ever finds out about it, but he’s also the first one wanting to forget and to move on.  
But this is said than done.  
Anyway, to concentrate on the song, seems a brilliant way not to think about anything else.

“So, let’s sum up. At the end of the song, we make Chris and Stef sing the standard chorus, as you and me sing another verse, just like what I do at the last part of ‘The Bitter End ‘ , do you know what I mean? “ Brian looks for his confirmation.

“Yes, that’s right. So we can create a lot of mess both with the instruments and the voices, until it raises and starts fading away, flowing into the outro with the piano, as you speak on the notes.. “ Matthew nods.

Yes. They did just talk to each other. But it meant nothing at all.  
It’s just that they both are very serious and professional in their work, so they can perfectly separate it from private affairs.  
So, if Matthew Bellamy and Brian Molko want to keep as far away from each other as possible, the singer of Muse and the singer of Placebo just ignore what happened and make the collaboration go on, while they try to avoid any kind of eye contact.  
But the fact that this will be the very last time they have to work together comforts them both.

And after what can be called ‘the less comfortable interaction ever’, they both consult their choristers, explaining them what they have to do.  
After some trials with the chorus, especially the last one, the two bands are ready to start.

For those six minutes or a little bit more, the events of the previous days seem to be erased from Matt’s and Brian’s memories, because in that moment they have a more than perfect understanding , at least the one concerning the music.  
The alchemy between their guitars and their voices is astonishing, so much that it could make people think that it’s not the first time that those two perform together.  
And it’s the same for the rest of the musicians, too, because they all play in absolute harmony.  
In the very first recording there are no mistakes or imperfections to be found, so that they don’t’ even need to make a second one.  
The technicians take care of transferring it on a couple of CDs that the two managers will send to the two labels in question, as it was promised.

\- It’s done. It’s over. From now on we’ll have nothing to do with each other anymore; everyone will be on their own way. And I couldn’t be happier. Yes, ok, because of the concert we are going to have by tomorrow, I’ll be stuck here in the same town where he’s also stuck. But it’s just a matter of two days. Two days and a half. Anyway, it will be hard for us to meet, right? When he has some shows I’m free and vice versa, so it’s highly impossible that we’ll meet again. Unless it’s something intentional, for example… me going to his backstage party tonight, after he’s done with the show… but that is never ever gonna happen. I shouldn’t even think about that, damn me! - Matthew scolds himself, and then takes a look around, bewildered.

“Where did everyone go?” he asks Dominic, since it’s the only person left there with him.  
“Hello? They‘ve already left. They even said bye and we wished them to have a nice show. Well, Chris and I did, since you were lost in the mother of all trances. What the hell is going on with you?” Dom asks him.  
Matthew startles, but then shrugs.  
“Nothing important.. “ he answers.

“Fine. So, unless you decided you wanna stay here for the rest of your life, can we finally leave or what?” his friend exhorts him, a bit annoyed.  
“Uh yes, sure. Just… where is Chris?”  
“Geez, Matt, you said it was ‘nothing important‘ but it seems it distracted you a lot! Chris said he wants to go back to the hotel, to give the CD to Tom. Maybe he will catch us up in the afternoon.. “ Dom informs him, but now more concerned than annoyed.  
“Ah.. “ is all Matt manages to say.

“Well, due to the fact that in the hotel there are his wife and kids, I seriously doubt he wants to join us later.. “ Dom adds.  
“Kelly made it such a huge surprise to him. I still remember Chris’ face when he saw her at the airport. That was so lovely... “ Matthew smiles, as he seems to come back down to planet Earth.

“Yeah. So, what are your plans for today? “ Dom wonders, as they leave.  
“I don’t know. Probably I’ll hang around here and there, and I’ll go shopping, that always helps! And you? What are your plans?”  
“Well, since Steffy is busy all day long, I guess I’ll join you!” the other informs him.  
“So, let me know if I got that straight.. I’m your stopgap!” the brunette rolls his eyes.  
“Damn right. But you’re my favourite one!” the blond strikes back, with a smile that can make him be forgiven for everything.

 

********************************* (In the meantime)

“I still can’t believe it!” Brian exclaims, as he heads towards the hotel, with the other two.  
“What? That we’re finally done with that song? Well, after almost two weeks, I guess it‘s about time!” Steve comments.  
“Who the hell cares about the song? I was talking about Matthew!” the first one clarifies.  
“Of course, what else could you talk about? Stupid me for asking!” the second one rolls his eyes.

“I thought that sleeping on it would make him regain his good mood. Instead, he’s still bloody pissed off with me! And for what? For nothing, just a stupid thingy!” Brian confesses.  
“Maybe for you it’s stupid, but not for him. You caught him off guard, too bad. He wasn’t prepared for that, so he reacted the way he did. He’s got some points, after all. I mean, try to imagine yourself in his shoes. “ Stefan states.  
“I just wanna take off his shoes, together with the rest of his clothes, too!” Brian complains, with an attitude that vaguely reminds of a spoiled child absolutely wanting a certain toy, no matter what.  
It’s a wonder that he doesn’t stamp his foot.

“Listen, I don’t know all the details and most important, I don’t even want to know... “ Steve grumbles.  
“I know that it’s hard to believe, but I assure you that this time the details are less, so much less licentious than you think!” Stefan chuckles.  
“Yeah. But if you are looking for something licentious, ask him about what he did with Dom . Am I right, Stef?” Brian winks at his friend who stares at the ground, pretty embarrassed.

“Please, I don’t care, really. Listen, even if I’m not gay.. or half gay, it doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna see you happy, both of you. So, cheer up Bri, it will be better next time. Anyway, Matt has no idea of what he’s missing.“ Steve comforts him, with a friendly pat on the shoulder.  
Brian shrugs and sighs, with a very unhappy face.

“Thank you, Steve. Anyway, you also don’t know what you’re losing, my dear. How many times did I tell you that if one day you changed your mind, you’d already have a place booked in my bed?” Brian changes both subject and mood, playing the seducer role.  
“Thank you for the nice thought, but no, I guess I’ll never ever change my mind!” Steve assures.

“Hey! First Matt, then Steve… how many guys do you want, Molks?” Stefan makes him notice, amused.  
“Well, honey, let me add you to my list. It would be such a nice return. What can I say? In my heart there’s place for anyone!” Brian justifies.  
“I guess there’s more place for everyone in your pants than in your heart!” Stef makes fun of him and they all burst out laughing.  
But that hilarity doesn’t last for long, at least for Brian.

“Oh, guys, I almost forgot. We gotta change something in the play list, because tonight I don’t really feel like playing ‘Without You I’m Nothing’ ... that would remind me of him way too much.. Plus, everything started with this song.“ he confesses, as he resumes being sad.  
“Uh, yes, right. So, with which song do we replace it? Another one from the new album?” Steve wonders.  
“No, I was thinking about one of the old ones. Something that makes fans say ‘Hey, they hadn’t played this one for ages!’ or even ‘Hey, they’ve never played this one live so far!’ Maybe we could play ‘Brick Shithouse’ or ‘Haemoglobin‘ or ‘Second Sight’ ... it’s up to you to choose the song, and then we’ll go through that.. I guess they’re gonna like that. At least, this way there will be someone happy, after all.“ he answers, a little bit melancholy.

The other two prefer to say nothing and confine themselves to nod, although they already fear that it will be a concert more ‘tuned down’ than usual, according to their friend’s mood.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe this chapter was a little bit more boring than usual.. but I needed this for the story, be patient..
> 
> Anyway, I hope you’ll still like it, but feel free to tell me everything, of course!


	13. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt tries hard not to go to a certain place, but..

International Arena, 8: 53 p.m.

The members of Placebo wait backstage, as the support-band is on the stage, trying to heat up the crowd.  
Brian sits on one of the sofas, as he quickly performs ‘Haemoglobin ‘, the song that they had finally chosen as substitute.

“Well, I thought I would suck. Instead, it seems that I remember it pretty well.“ , he comments satisfied, placing the guitar carefully on the floor.

Alex rushes into their room, panting and looking extremely excited.  
“Wassup, Alex?” Steve wonders.  
“I’ve got such a big news and I can’t wait until the show ends, I‘ve gotta tell you now!” she exclaims, very edgy.  
“Spit it out!” Stef exhorts her all curios.  
“As you already know, I sent the file to the EMI team. Well, not only have they already listened to the song and do really like it, but.. guess what? They already called the Warner team and together they decided to postpone everything to the end of December, when you’ll both be done with the tour. They think that the two limited editions are not enough and you both need intense and various promotional activities. It seems that they also want to set up one or two nights at the Wembley Arena, where you’re supposed to play together with Muse, but nothing’s settled so far.“ the very ecstatic woman informs them.

\- Damn! Just two days ago, this news would make me so happy, but now, if I think that it’s not over and we’ll have to meet again … Oh God, if it’s anything like this morning.. I so feel sick! Why does fate keep making fun of me? - Brian wonders silently, sighing sadly.

“And you know what, Brian? You were right, you’re also going to do a video for the song. We’ll start selecting the possible directors by tomorrow.“ , Alex adds, turning to him.  
“Ah… “ is Brian’s only answer, since he’s still totally absorbed in his pessimistic thoughts.

“So, it’s just me who’s all excited? Geez Bri, what’s wrong with you?” the manager asks him in disbelief.  
Steve and Stefan exchange short glances.  
They both perfectly know what’s wrong with him.

“Oh Alex, don’t mind him. He must be ... in ‘those unpleasant days ‘ you women monthly have!” Steve warns her.  
“How many times do I have to repeat that? I’m NOT a woman!” Brian snaps.  
“That’s what you think!” Steve strikes back.  
“Hey Sweetie, why don’t you go and tell him? After all, you can confirm that pretty well, can’t you? “ Brian winks, turning to Stefan.  
“Uhmm… I don’t know, Molks. Maybe the world is not yet ready for such a shocking truth!” Stefan pretends to be concerned.  
“You, morons!” Brian shakes his head, but he can’t help smiling.

After all, it seems that his good mood is back again.

********************************************* (In the meantime)

Matthew has spent a nice afternoon with Dom, since his friend made him laugh as only he can do.  
Also the shopping has been satisfying for him. Right now he is doing some trials in front of the mirror in his room, pleased by the sight of all the awful shirts and T-shirts he’s bought, so wacky that, compared to them, Dom’s bright yellow jeans seems to be a piece of classic and elegant fashion style.

Anyway, nothing prevented him from thinking, even for an instant, about Brian, about his words, about the doubts that dwell in his mind and mostly... about his invitation.  
Matt has already sworn to himself that any place outside his room that he will go to for today, is the bar corner of the Prince, where the others are already waiting for him.

Just time for two more trials and he’ll meet them there.

******************************************* (In the meantime)

“Geez, how long does it take for Matt to finally arrive?” Chris grumbles, sitting at the counter.  
“I bet that he’s admiring himself inside all the absurdities he bought today. But it’s only a matter of minutes, he’s gonna come. “ Dominic answers and then they both turn their attention to Tom who just got in.

“What are you doing here?” Dominic asks him.  
“Where is Matt?” the manager asks them.  
“He’s still in his room, but he will be here in a minute. “ Chris explains.

“Alright! I hoped he wasn’t here, so I can inform just the two of you. The Warner team just called me.“ he starts his report.  
“I got you. They don’t like the song, so everything is screwed up!” Dominic anticipates him, kinda bothered.

“You got a damn nothing! It’s the contrary. They liked the song so much that they consulted EMI and they’re planning such a huge promotional fuss that you can’t even begin to imagine! Everything is about to start after December, but just here in the UK. You won’t have to tour around the world… not again. Anyway, some press releases are already spread and three TV shows already want you and Placebo to be their guest stars to perform the song live in their studios. Plus, when the single will be released, both you and them will have to sign autographs at music stores. Then there will also be some photo shoots, together of course, and many other things are already in progress. But I don’t recall them right now. All in all, your agenda will be filled up for at least two months!” Tom announces.

“Wow, I didn’t expect that!” Dominic comments, surprised, but also happy.

Tom looked pretty worried.  
“Guys, who is gonna tell Matt all this stuff now?”  
“No way, don’t even try to involve us! You are the manager, so it’s you who has to tell Matt about these news!” Chris protests.  
“Chris is right. Anyway, allow Matt to have one or two days off and fake certainty that after that everything will really be over.“ Dom advices him.

“Yes, I’ll do it like that. In the meantime, please guys, don’t tell him anything.. “ he pleads them, trembling just at the thought of how Matt’s probably going to react.  
“Don’t worry, Tom, we won’t tell a soul!” Chris assures him.

“Ok. Now I have to go. Hey, don’t forget that tomorrow there‘s the.. “  
“Re- study thing, we already know!” Dom and Chris anticipate him at unison, as one rolls his eyes and the other snorts.  
“Yes, my friends, we’re coming back to the good old times, if you like it or not! See you!” the manager waves his bye and leaves.

In the meantime Matthew notices him on the streets, through the windows, as he makes his way downstairs.

“Hey, am I wrong or was Tom just here?” Matthew wonders after meeting his friends at the counter.  
“Uh? Yes, he came here just to tell us that the Warner team liked the song a lot!” Chris answers.  
“Well, that’s such a relief. The very thought of meeting them again to fix something in the song.. makes me feel sick!” he admits.

\- Well, just wait until you’ll find out how things actually turned .. and you’ll feel much more than sick! - Chris thinks, but just as Dom does, he makes a huge effort not to give himself away by bursting out laughing.

After that, the three men spend their time chatting more or less about anything, until Dom looks at his watch.  
“Uh, I’d better go now. So I can arrive at the International Arena at the end of the concert, to surprise Stef. Matt, do you want to join me? “ he suggests.  
“No, I don’t think that this is such a good idea.. “  
“Why not? You can have your daily, healthy banter with Brian and you’ll both feel better after that. This morning, you two didn’t even … “  
“Damn you, Dom, I’ve already said NO! Don’t you get it?!” Matt interrupts him rudely with a louder tone.

“Geez, ok, Mr. Snappy, I won’t ask anymore, but try to calm down!” the blond grumbles pretty insulted.  
“Sorry Dom, it’s not your fault, it’s just that I don’t feel like going there. It’s just and only that.. “ Matt justifies much calmer now. “ By the way, I guess I’ll go to bed now..” he adds.  
“What?! Bells, it’s only 10: 00 p.m. !” Chris makes him notice in disbelief.  
“Yeah, but it’s been such a hard day and tomorrow will be even harder!” the other strikes back with a fake yawn and then leaves.

“And to think that he’s supposed to be 28 years old... not 82!” Dominic comments, also not believing his ears.  
“Anyway, I don’t care what he does, I’ve got a date waiting for me!” he exults immediately after.  
“I guess I’ll go back to my room with Kelly and the kids then. It’s so wonderful to have them here. I want to spend as much time as possible with them.. “ Chris smiles.  
“You’re right, mate. See you tomorrow. I’ll try not to stay up too late.. “ Dom promises before leaving the bar.  
“I seriously doubt that!” Chris thinks, his mood something between exasperated and amused, before going to his room.

\----------------------------------------

Matthew, now in his room, has already changed his clothes to go to bed, wearing a pair of dark grey boxers and a black T-shirt.  
The only problem is that he’s not tired at all. Quite the contrary, his adrenaline is as high as if he’s just gotten out of a rollercoaster!  
But he has decided not to cross the threshold. At the beginning he spent his time watching TV, finding nothing interesting, he resorted to his CD player, listening to a soundtrack by Ennio Morricone, an artist that he appreciates a lot.  
His music seems to give him enough calmness, because short after half past midnight he falls asleep, internally congratulating himself for resisting, for not surrendering to his curiosity.

\--- A sudden noise wakes him up abruptly. He realizes that it’s coming from the handle, as if someone was trying to force his way into the room and since this someone manages to do that pretty easily, Matthew wonders if maybe he accidentally forgot to close it.  
In the meantime, the illuminated display of the alarm clock on his night table informs him that it’s 2:40 a.m.  
So, it can’t be the room service, it’s not even time for cleaning.

\- Well, for having five stars, this Hotel is managed like shit! - he ponders, as the door slowly opens and he decides which object to use as weapon.

No need to turn the lights on, because the moonlight coming form the half open window is enough.  
In fact, Matt recognizes the intruder as soon as his eyes are accustomed to the darkness.  
“Brian?” he exclaims, a little scared.  
“I’ve been waiting for you in the backstage for two hours, do you realize that?” Brian exclaims, closing the door behind his back.  
“I told you I wouldn’t come!” the other answers, still confused.  
“But I don’t like to get a ‘ No ‘ as an answer.. “ the other comments, walking towards the bed, step by step.

“How the hell did you manage to get in?” Matt asks him bewildered.  
“That’s not important… “ the other shrugs.

“Wha.. what do you want?” the first one interrogates with a little jolt in his voice, as he backs off in the bed until his back hits the edge.  
“Nothing that you don’t want me to do.. “ the second one purrs, arriving at the bed and straddling him, while taking off his T-shirt.

Matthew is too shocked to show any kind of resistance. But at the same time a part of him, the most recondite one, can’t wait to find out how far Brian will go.

In the moonlight his black hair seems to shine more, his green eyes sparkle with bigger intensity and his red lips, painted with lip-stick, seem to be even more perfect.  
Matt can’t help watching him and Brian is pleased by that.

“C’mon, cutie, now just relax.. “ Brian murmurs, as his black nailed hands wanders down Matt’s smooth and muscular chest, hardly tanned by the summery sun.  
His touch so gentle and pleasant that a moan of enjoyment escapes from Matthew’s throat, as he keeps wondering what the next step will be.

Brian smiles, bending down to him. At the beginning he seems to aim for his mouth, but then he changes his mind, moving towards the right ear, to whisper a special sentence.

“You’re going to try something new!” –--

Matthew wakes up hastily, holding tight on the black T-shirt he’s still wearing, panting due to the shock... but maybe not only due to that...  
He takes a look around to verify that he’s totally alone and the unique coincidence is that the alarm clock really informs him that it’s 2: 40 a.m.

“Just a dream.“ he murmurs, realizing that he said that with a way too upset tone.  
“I mean, lucky for me it was only a dream. Uh no, not a dream, a nightmare! Yes, it was a terrifying nightmare!” he corrects himself.  
Too bad that he’s not very convinced about that.

\- Oh no, There’s something fucking wrong with that. Maybe it’s time for me to talk to someone. I’ll do tomorrow, after the concert.. - he decides, already picturing the perfect interlocutor, the only one who would really understand him.

Matthew gets up to take the umpteenth look around and assures himself that the door is closed very well.  
After that he goes back to the bed, a little more relaxed... as relaxed as one can be, while knowing that he’ll spend the rest of the night utterly awake!

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhmm.. I know, maybe all that promotional activity is a bit exaggerated, but.. it’s stronger than me, I had to treat it like a world-wide event !!  
> Uh, of course, that dumb stuff about him being a woman.. it’s only for joke! In next chapters there will be something else who must not absolutely taken seriously, ok?


	14. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew is more and more agitated… and Brian is all brooding ..

The day after, about 9:00 a.m., Chris and Dominic are in the Dining Room of the Hotel. While they enjoy all the yummy things the breakfast buffet has to offer, they see Matt come in.  
He’s pale, much more than usual, his hair is ruffled and he seems that he almost has to drag himself towards the table where his friends are sitting. Also they can’t help noticing the two little grey drills surrounding his eyes.

“Hey, buddy, you look awful!” Chris exclaims, as he pours some orange juice in his glass.  
“Thanks mate, that’s just the kind of thing I really need to hear whenever we have a show!” Matt rolls his eyes.  
“I don’t give a damn if you like hearing that or not, it’s just the pure truth!” Chris shrugs.

“He’s right, Bells, I guess you need to settle yourself before tonight. Uh, I have an idea, why don’t you call Brian and ask him if he can do some make up to you? He’s such a connoisseur!” Dominic suggests.  
“Bloody hell! Listen, there’s absolutely nothing that I want him to do to me. And don’t mention his damn name anymore!” Matt snaps, after an initial jolt.  
“Ok, I give you my word. I won’t say that name anymore.. “ Dom assures as he ponders about his best friend’s reaction.

\- Uhmm, it’s already the second time that I mention Brian and Matt gets all nervous and itchy. I’m starting to think there’s something going on beyond the song we recorded together... -

“Well, now just try to have a proper breakfast, we are going to have a very intense and tough day to face!” Chris comments, before ‘hurling ‘ towards a stuffed croissant.  
“Actually, I’m not very hungry.. “ Matthew grumbles.  
“You’re kidding, right? This morning there’s even the double chocolate cake, you can’t miss it, it’s deli..-yum.- . cious !” Dom champs, since is mouth is full of the cake he’s so busy praising.

“I need a coffee. A double one. Although I already know that it will be totally useless. Even if I drank litres of it, it wouldn’t be enough... In case you haven’t noticed yet… I’m barely awake.” Matthew admits, rubbing his face with his hands, in order to keep him awake.  
“I can’t believe it. Yesterday you practically went to sleep at sunset.. and now you are still asleep? To hell with going around for tours, Bells, I’ll do all I can to make you end up in a rest house!” Chris states, astonished.

“Ah, ah, what a witty guy! It’s true, I went to bed pretty soon, but I didn’t sleep at all, something kept me awake all night long.. “  
“Uh? Why did you have this sudden sleeplessness?”  
“Well, it’s logical… it’s because I’m so excited about the last concert here in our beloved England.“ Matt tries to justify, while he already knows that his friends won’t believe him.

“Well, you’re exaggerating things a little. It’s not as if we are going to be deported! Quite the contrary, won’t we see our beloved England again in autumn? You see, less than two months and we will be back.. “ Dom comments.  
“Yes, but.. I’m agitated anyway! After all, the motherland is always the motherland!” Matt insists and then he leaves his friends for a cup of coffee.

A few minutes later he comes back, holding the cup of coffee in one hand and in the others a dish with a little, minuscule slice of the cake that Dom has recommended to him before, just to eat something.  
He sits at the table, in front of Chris and Dom.

As Matt pours the sugar in his cup, ready to blend it with the spoon, he notices that Dom keeps looking behind his shoulders, and then jolts a little and frowns in a mix of surprise and puzzlement.

“Hi, Brian, but.. what are you doing here?” he exclaims, confused.

Matthew almost spills the coffee on his lap, but he manages to avoid that painful and burning incident.  
Then, he immediately turns, but the only people he sees are the waiters who are setting the other tables.  
He turns back to his friends, although he stares at them in a way that is anything but friendly!

“Hey, don’t be mad at me. It was his idea, not mine. I tried to persuade him not to do that, but.. when the hell does this stubborn guy ever listen to me?” Chris points out, glaring at Dom.  
“Uff, your sense of humour is beneath your shoes. C’mon, guys, it was just an innocent joke..” the blond defends himself.  
“Dominic, that’s not funny at all!” Matt growls.  
“Maybe not for you, but for me, hell yeah it was fun! Anyway, you can’t fool me, sooner or later I’ll find out what’s going on!” Dominic warns him, standing up.

\- Believe me, you’re gonna find out soon enough. - Matthew thinks, pretending that he didn’t hear him.

“I’m done here. I’m going back to my room. Let’s meet in your room for the re-study thing. Matt, don’t make me wait for too long!” Dominic adds, leaving.

As Dom asked them, Matt and Chris don’t let him wait for too long this time. So, a bunch of minutes after breakfast, they are all already in Matt’s room, engrossed in reading their tablature sheets, in a kind of concentrated silence.  
Too bad that Matt lacks concentration, since it’s already the fourth time that he read the first line of his sheet and not only he doesn’t manage to memorize it, but he can’t even tell what song it belongs to anymore!  
Truth is that he’s too busy trying to keep his eyes open, as his eyelids seem to become heavier and heavier.  
The double coffee he had seems to have no effect at all, quite the contrary it feels as if it has even increased his tiredness.  
In the end he takes the bunch of sheets and throws them on the floor, without caring if they end up scattered all around.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dom asks him, jolting because of the sudden noise, as he sits on the other side of the bed.  
“Bloody hell, I gotta sleep, otherwise I can’t rely on myself anymore!” Matt warns them, laying down the mattress.

“But you can’t skip the re –studying! Tom will not be happy about that!” Chris reminds him, as he sits on the comfortable armchair, close to the bed.  
“Let’s put things this way: if I stay awake now, doing the sodding damn and useless re-study shit, tonight I’ll go as nutty as never before! I guess that Tom would be happier to see me make one or two mistakes with the chords, rather than seeing me sit on the stool, with the guitar on my lap, as I keep running my fingers on its tastes, grumbling a never ending ‘ Shit! What the bloody hell is wrong with this fucking piano? ‘ “ he strikes back, resting his head on the pillow.

Chris and Dom exchange a worried look.  
“Uh, yes, right, Matt, dear, I guess that you really need some hours of sleep… “ Dom comments, standing up so that Matt has the whole bed for himself, and sitts down on the other available armchair.  
“We’ll stay here, going on, as silently as possible, and we’ll wake you up just when we have to do the sound-check, ok?” Chris assures him, almost in a whisper.

“Yes.. yeess.. stay here with me.. so I’ll be safe.. he will not get in anymore… “ Matt babbles as his eyes are already closed, making his listeners suspicious and puzzled, so much that they wonder in their mind if they should better take their friend to a madhouse, rather than a rest house!

“After all, I need to recharge my batteries a little bit.. one hour, two, three.. the whole afternoon .. “ Matt keeps blathering, before falling utterly asleep.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

Brian has lost count of the hours he’s spending there, in that place that seems perfect to stay alone with his thoughts, pondering about what happened, trying to figure out the possible consequences and mostly wondering if he will be able to face them.

He left his Hotel’s room before the other two could even notice, taking advantage of the fact that they are two big sleepyheads, whenever they got the chance.  
And then, wearing just a pair of dark sunglasses, without caring if some fans would recognize him or not, Brian started walking, pretty quickly, without any special destination.  
He just saw the walking as a faultless way to relax a bit, release the tension, calm down in order to feel a little tad better.

After a couple of kilometres, or even a little more, he finally stopped, because the untamed beach that he took a glimpse of, with grass instead of sand, seemed to be just what he was looking for.  
An isolated place, far away form everything and everyone, mostly because he purposely left his mobile, his beeper and every kind of hellish technological invention that would allow people to find him, in his room.

He wonders what Steve and Stefan will do when they wake up. Probably go looking for him, knocking on his door without receiving any answers. He already knows that they won’t be very concerned. After all they know him pretty well. That’s the way he behaves, there are moments when he just wants to be left alone and they can do nothing but let him be.

And he knows that no one will disturb him there, not only because the only way to reach that beach is through a path that is anything but pleasant, but basically because the sea doesn’t seem to be in the right mood to welcome any tourist for a bath.  
It’s enough just to look at the waves that keep smashing violently against the reefs. The scenario almost seems to picture the same disquiet that dwells in his mind.  
Maybe that’s why he can’t help staring at those waves.

He suddenly misses a guitar in his hands. If he could have one with him, he’d really have all he needs. But he’s utterly aware that to take one with him, just as playing one, would drag people’s attention to him way too much.  
He has to be content just with the view, throwing some little stones in the water and letting the warm marine breeze caress his face.

And then, whatever he might desire or not, his thoughts jump inevitably to Matthew.

\- I wonder what he’s doing now. Will his angry mood be finally over? What if tonight I went to.. No, Brian, stop it, you’ve already done too much. If something happens .. it all should be started by him.. although by now I already lost all hope.. -

He gets up, patting his grey trousers in order to clean them off.  
It’s still early afternoon, but right now he seems ready to come back and face everything.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters will be a kind of ‘corner of the confidences ‘, try to guess who with whom? ;)
> 
> I hope you’ll like it so far, but feel free to tell me anything, as always !


	15. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bri needs some comfort.. who will give it to him? And NO, it’s NOT Matt.. not yet, at least..

“Uff! Why are we still here? Are we hanging out or what?” Steve snorts impatiently, sinking in the sofa in the hall of the Hotel.  
“C’mon, Steve, it’s only 11:15 p.m. , can’t you wait a little longer?” Stefan comments, sitting down next to his friend.  
“Can’t you see? I’m not saying it for me. It’s an altruistic thought of mine. Outside there, there are people who need my help: barmen, waiting for me to drink all the available liquids in their bars and tons of pretty ladies who can’t wait for me to ‘punish’ them properly. See? I gotta put myself at the whole humanity’s disposal!” Steve justifies, with a melodramatic attitude.  
“I never heard such a crap before!” Stef comments, shaking his head and smiling.

“My dear, these are the advantages of being single, but it’s a joy that you seem not to know anymore.. “ the other goes on, and then he looks at the neck of his counterpart, with fake apprehensive attitude.  
“Did you become a vampire out of the blue or is there a specific reason why you are staring at my neck?” Stef asks, but his apprehension is real.  
“I was just checking out if there was a mark left.. “ the first one explains.  
“A mark of what?” the second one asks, more and more puzzled.  
“Of the leash that Dominic is keeping you on for the last two weeks, of course! But surprisingly, it seems that tonight he took it off, letting you free to hang around on your own..” Steve makes fun of him.  
“Hey, I’m no fucking one’s dog! Plus, it could even be that * I * gave him a free night!” Stefan defends himself.  
“Yeah, sure, who doubts that?” his interlocutor strikes back with the hugest scepticism and that pisses Stefan off even more.

“Instead of making fun of me, you’d better be worried, because in a bunch of years the day will come when a boy wants to ‘punish ‘ your daughter!” Stefan warns him.  
“I guarantee that that day will never come. I already have the perfect plan: Emily will hang out only when she is .. at least thirty years old, and even then, every guy will touch her just and only after I personally castrated him!” Steve growls, annoyed just by the thought.  
“Hey, mate, the Hyper Jealous and Protective Daddy style really suits you!” Stef chuckles.

“Anyway, coming back to what we were talking about before, maybe I didn’t tell you yet, but Dom and I are going to.. “ he adds immediately after, but the other interrupts him.

“Can we go now?”  
As an answer, Stef only stares at the upper floors.  
“Let me try again, first.. “  
“Do you think he’s finally back?” Steve wonders.  
“I thinks so. “  
“I’m not so sure. You know what? After writing so many songs about his beloved ghosts, now he acts just like one of them, disappearing for the whole day, without leaving any trace, any warning.. I hate when he acts like that!” Steve grumbles.  
“Well, you know, it’s just one of his moody days.. “  
“One?! Dammit, in one whole year, Brian has at least 255 moody days!” Steve complains  
“Maybe, but in the left 110 days he’s so adorable, you can’t deny it!” the other strikes back.

They are just joking, of course. If they really didn’t get along with Brian, they wouldn’t have been playing together for so many years. Plus, which group of friends, even the most inseparable ones, doesn’t have their ups and downs?

“Anyway, you know what? I trust in my feeling so much that now I will go upstairs and not only will I find him, but he even won’t be moody anymore. And if I’m not right, I swear that I’ll pay your drinks, well aware that you could suck my wallet dry!” Stefan states.  
“I like that. And maybe do you even think that you can talk Bri into coming with us?” Steve challenges him, already picturing all the drinks he can make him pay.

“Now you’re asking way too much, I’ll see what I can do, but don’t expect that much. I’ll be back in a minute. Well, maybe not just a minute.. “ the other admits, going upstairs.

He lied before.  
He’s not sure at all that Brian is back.  
In fact, he knocks at his door, not very convinced, so much that he’s pretty amazed when he sees the door opening with a Brian that stares at him inquisitively.  
“My wallet’s saved!” Stefan thinks out loud, relieved.  
“Uh?” the other frowns.  
“Never mind. I just wanted to check if everything’s ok. “ Stef explains.  
“Yes, don’t worry. I know that I wasn’t exactly Mr. I’ll-Take-Company-To-You today, but now I feel much better.. “ Brian states with a ghostly smile.  
“So better that you want to hang out in the pubs with Steve and me?” Stefan wonders hopefully.  
“Uh, no, really no. I’m kind of exhausted due to what I did today. I have never walked so much! I’d rather stay here. But you two can go, of course, have fun for me, too. Just try not to make too many damages!” Brian makes fun of them. “See you tomorrow.. “ he adds.  
“Ok, I’ll go then. But.. are you sure you’re ok?” Stefan assures himself.  
“Sure.. “ Brian answers, wishing silently that his friend won’t insist any further, as otherwise he’ll have the umpteenth break down.

 

With big relief, he watches Stef turn and make his way towards the stairs and stays in the corridor to watch the scene.  
Too bad that, when he’s about to reach the first step, Stef turns back and heads towards his room, dragging him inside it with him and closing the door behind their back.  
“But.. Steve is waiting for you.. downstairs.. “ Brian makes him notice.  
“Well, I guess that he’ll keep waiting for me for a while.. C’mon, Bri, we both know that this ‘Sure ‘ actually meant ‘ No, hell no I’m not ok!’ ” Stefan insists.  
“Actually I would have said something worse than ‘hell no ‘ .. Anyway, damn you and your ability to always read me like an open book!” Brian grumbles.

“Yes, and since you’re finally back from You’ll-Never-Find-Me-Land you should be ready to talk..”  
Stefan comments, sitting on the bed and inviting him to do the same. “C’mon, sit here and tell your dear old Steffy everything!” he incites him.  
Knowing that he has no other choices, not only he obeys, but he also lies down, resting his head on the lap of the one who is not only his best friend but his most intimate confident, too.

“You know, it’s since yesterdays night that I’m sure that something is not ok.. “ Stefan starts, but then a ring from a mobile, his in fact, distracts him, deviating it on the sms he received.  
Brian watches him as he smiles, softened, dials something quickly and then sends his answer.  
“Sorry, I was saying, yesterday.. “  
“What’s wrong with yesterday? The show was great, plus, with ‘Haemoglobin’ we drove the crowd crazy. I was sure they would have liked it!” Brian cuts him off.  
“It’s not about the show. It was better than I guessed. The point is that you were on the stage physically, but your mind was somewhere else... “  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, everyone knows that you get pissed off if you catch someone taking a pic of you as you perform.. right?” Stef resumes talking, as he moves Brian’s messy hair from his forehead, since now the gel lost his effect on them, plus that gesture has somehow something maternal.

“Damn right. After all, there’s a fucking reasons if there are warnings such as ‘ No audio or video shooting’ !” Brian snorts.  
“Yes, I know. Anyway, in first row there was a girl with a video camera and she practically shot the whole show!” he informs him.  
“Uh? Really?” Brian gets astonished.  
“That’s it. See what I mean with ‘ your mind was somewhere else’ ? I was there thinking ‘ Here we go, now he’ll surely make the security guys take her away ‘ , instead, not only you didn’t realized that, but you were so lost in your thoughts that I saw you waving your hand in her direction, even more than once! This is an attitude you only have if you are incredibly happy.. or incredibly depressed. And, please, tell me if I’m wrong, but I guess that the second option is the right one .. “ Stef explains.  
“It’s the right one. Oh my, I’m starting to get worried for real now.. “  
“And I’m getting worried about you.. “ Stef strikes back.

“Do you know what I really can’t accept? The fact that my sixth sense might have fooled me. And yet I was so sure that Matt was somehow interested, at least a little bit. .. could I really be wrong? Could I see things that weren’t real?” Brian wonders.

“Do you regret that kiss?” Stefan answers with another question.  
“First, it wasn’t even a real kiss. Second, no, I don’t regret it at all. That was something that I had to do and if I could turn back time I would do that a thousand times again. Anyway, maybe I chose the wrong place and the wrong time, but every time I just follow my instincts it always ends up like that.. “  
“There can’t be a wrong place and a wrong time to be kissed by you.. “ Stefan winks at him, remembering their good old days together.  
“You, adulator!” Brian smiles sweetly at him, before another sms on Stefan’s mobile interrupts them again.

This time, Stef confines himself just to read it with a half smile, putting the mobile back in his pocket.  
“Tell me, yesterday, at the end of the show, since Stef and I left about past midnight… when did you actually leave the backstage area?” he questions him.  
“Well, I don’t know, probably a bunch of minutes after you two left, let’s say half an hour at the utmost!”  
“Molks, look, I know when you’re lying!” Stef pretends to scold him.  
“Ok. I stayed there a little bit longer.. “  
“How longer.. “  
“Uh. Until.. until 2:00 a.m. .. “ Brian admits, almost in a whisper.  
“Geez, you really hoped for that, didn’t you?”  
“Yeah. At least that taught me not to delude myself anymore, I won’t make the same mistake again. I just have to accept it. It’s just that I can’t stand this sense of cold rejection, it’s terrible. It reminds me of school time, when everything was shit. And that damn guy who is obsessing me made those memories arise again .. those hateful memories .. “ Brian confesses, getting up to look at Stef better.

\- Let me see if I got it straight: it’s * him * who is obsessing * you * ?! - his stunned interlocutor wonders, but doesn’t dare to cut him off.

“And yet things changed. I changed. By now I’m the Brian Molko no one can resist. No matter if it’s a man, woman or animal!” he declares.  
This time Stefan can’t help cutting him off.  
“Animal?! “ he repeats, shocked.  
“C’mon, don’t make that face. It seems that you know when I’m lying but not when I’m kidding. You know I like talking big.. “ Brian reassures him, with a smirk.  
Stefan smiles back, nodding not very convinced, as a priority pops in his mind.

\- Note to myself: make one of those tests such as ‘ How well do you think you know your best friend?’ !-

“Well, Bri, you know.. you can’t run from your past!” he comments.  
“Hell yeah I know. ‘ The past will catch you up as you run faster ‘, I also wrote it in one of our first songs. Geez, sometimes my wisdom scares me!” Brian smiles pleased.  
“Instead, sometimes your modesty scares me!” Stefan rolls his eyes.  
“Anyway, don’t torture yourself anymore with those thoughts. I guess that Matt’s phase of cold rejection ss just temporary. You shouldn’t blame yourself for anything. I don’t want to give you false hope, but if it’s destiny, something will happen. And if it’s what you really want, I wish for it with my whole heart, baby!” Stef smiles tenderly.

Brian is about to smile back, but then he pouts.  
“Uff, with all the names you can choose, to call me ‘baby ‘ is just mean, especially if it’s you doing that, you lamp-post!” he snorts, making him laugh.

“You’re still a pain in the ass. It’s a sign that you feel better for real. So, do you want to go out with Steve and me now?” Stef asks him.  
“I do feel better, that’s true. Talking to you helped me a lot, as it always does. But what I said before wasn’t an excuse. I’m really worn out and I find it pretty hard to even reach the Hall. But you can go, of course, by the way, hurry up, before Steve loses his already short patience and destroys half of the Hotel! “ Brian chuckles as Stefan’s mobile receives the umpteenth message.

“It can’t be, it can’t be, it can’t be.. “ Stef repeats as a mantra, drawing out his mobile and finding out who the sender is.  
“Instead, it fucking can be!” he snorts , annoyed.

“Let me guess, it’s Dom, isn’t it?” Brian asks rhetorically.  
“Yes. Three messages in less than a quarter of an hour. Dammit, I don’t think that even a girl can be that pestering! ” he snaps.  
“Trust me, they can, even more than that. I speak of my own experience.. “ Brian informs him, recalling a particularly annoying ex-girlfriend of his.  
“Look, the only reason why I’m not dumping him now is that tomorrow is the last day we see each other, at least until December!” Stef explains.  
“Oh! So it’s not something serious.. “ Brian observes.  
“Hell no, I’m not ready for that kind of relationship, and neither is he. Let’s say that we are having fun as long as it lasts.. “ he clarifies.  
“You know what? I’m kinda sad about that, since you two are such a cute couple, but on second thought, I’m glad. You know.. I was starting to get jealous... “ Brian jokes, pinching his cheek affectionately.

“Well, now I’d better go. C’mon, Bri, you gotta hold on just one more day. And you’ll see, until December maybe you won’t even think about him anymore.. “ Stefan greets him, leaving the room.

\- Just one more day. I can’t figure out if that comforts me.. or makes me anxious .. - the guy wonders, confused.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I admit, I kind of exaggerated the cuteness between Stef and Bri, but I couldn’t resist, I adore them together!!!  
> And it’s the same for Dom and Matt, but, if you aren’t’ already reading my other story, you’ll realize that with next chapters..
> 
> No matter how obvious it is, anyway.. that stupid thing about the animal and the test.. it’s only a joke, I don’t believe in that at all, of course! ;)


	16. Chapter XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew needs someone to talk with.. who ever will be this someone?

******************************* (In the meantime)

Although it was a few, really a few ones, nothing more than a couple, the hours that Matt spent resting seemed to make the difference.  
A good lunch did the rest, so for the evening he almost felt like new.. more or less.

Because, although, as always, the concert has been a success, he had a few trouble, especially with the newest songs.  
In fact, he has ‘messed up ‘ a little bit with the last guitar solo of ‘Invincible ‘ and he practically invented all the second verse of ‘Map Of Problematique ’ , trying to make it sound as much as possible like the original one, since right now he totally forgot it.  
Anyway, since the whole crowd was too busy singing with him as loud as possible, yelling, jumping and shaking their bodies , no one noticed those imperfections.

No one.. except for Tom.. who already craves his revenge!

But he has not even the time to say half word to him, because Chris and Kelly ( who has come to see the last show of her husband in UK, with their kids, too) totally distract him.  
.  
The two little doves, feeling the irresistible urge to spend some precious time alone, turn the poor Tom into the perfect babysitter in less than a second and run away, leaving him with two kids so hyper-active that to sleep is the last of their plans.  
After all, that crowded, chaotic place plenty of adrenaline doesn’t help at all. So, Tom has no other choice than heading towards the Hotel with the kids as soon as possible in order to send the two adorable little devils to bed, before they start playing ‘Hide and Seek ‘ all around the Arena!

Instead, for Dominic the end of the show means that he can finally switch his mobile on again.. and there’s not need to say who is the first person whom he absolutely needs to contact!  
As he’s busy doing that, Matthew reaches him at the backstage, after getting rid of a couple of fans, a little quickly but always kindly, of course.

“Hey, Dom, I was wondering… why don’t we have a couple of beers, but most important a long, very, very long chat?” he exclaims, sitting down beside his friend. “But if you have to go to Stef, I’ll understand.. “ he adds immediately.

 

“No, no Stef. During the last days we’ve stuck to each other almost as if someone put some hyper-powerful glue on our bodies! So, we decided to take a free night, before leaving tomorrow. After all, I understand if he wants to get out with his friends, I’m not one of those jealous guys who does nothing but scrutinizing his partner’s life!” Dom clarifies, without stopping to type on his mobile and Matt notices that.  
“So, tell me, what are you doing right now?” he asks him.  
“It seems pretty obvious to me. I’m sending to him some SMS like ‘Where are you? What are you doing? I miss you, can’t wait to see you again...‘ and other stuff ... “ his friend answers, with a sly smile.  
“Please, save me the other stuff!” Matt begs him.  
“And I guess I’ll keep doing that every five minutes... “ Dom goes on.  
“You’re right. That’s not annoying at all!” Matt comments, sarcastically.

“You’re only jealous because you have no one to send SMS to!” Dom rolls his eyes. “Or rather you would have, if only you wanted… “ he adds.  
“Actually, that’s the reason why I turned to you... “ the other admits.  
“Fine. But first, I have a question: why did you choose just me over Chris?” the blond questions him.

“Well, I have tons of reasons. First, Chris has already left.”  
“You know that’s not the main reason. Go on.”  
“Well, what can I say? You look like me more than Chris does, so I feel more comfortable talking to you.“  
“Why the hell should you feel comfortable talking with someone who looks like you?” Dom asks him, confused.  
“I can’t explain that to you, but I swear that it really works!” the brunette assures.  
“You’re bloody weird!” the other states.  
“Dammit, Dom, it’s almost fifteen years that you’ve been repeating that to me!” Matt snorts.  
“And be sure that fifteen years from now on, I’ll be still there repeating that to you: you’re bloody weird!” Dominic insists.

“Why don’t you just tell me that you prefer to talk to me because you love me a little bit more than Chris?” the blond urges him.  
“You know that I love you both the same way.” the other replies.  
“Say what you want, I know that what I said is true.“ Dom sings songs with a childish attitude, and that makes Matt find him extremely adorable.

“Anyway, there’s another reason why... “ the brunette admits.  
Dom silently congratulates himself, because with this answer Matt just confirmed his secret hypothesis.  
“You’re the one that can understand me better..”  
“Why?”

“’You could be the one who listens/ to my deepest inquisitions. “ Matt sings.  
“That’s nice, but it’s not enough. I ask you again: why? Plus, we’re just done with a show... aren’t you sick of singing?”  
“Never!” is the clear, immediate and concise answer of his interlocutor.

But there’s still a question that he didn’t answer yet.  
“Fine, I chose to talk just to you because... because you... you are.. “ Matt wavers.  
“Dammit, Matt, it’s not a dirty word, it’s not a disease, it’s nothing impressing. Just do the fuck say it!” Dom incites him, rolling his eyes.

“Because you’re gay!” Matt finally admits.  
“Good. See? It wasn’t that hard!” the other smiles. “So, why should this fact help you?” he asks him immediately after.  
“Because I have tons of questions and you probably have all the answers... “ the other explains.

“First of all, how did it start?”  
“What?”  
“You know what I mean. We’ve known each other since we were teenagers. How many times did we fight over the same girl? And usually you were the winner... “ Matt reminds him.  
“Those girls were such connoisseurs!” Dom smiles at the memory.

“Anyway, see, that’s in the past. Bit by bit, day after day, I started to realize that that wasn’t what I wanted, that I wasn’t happy, I didn’t feel ok, there was something missing.. I needed something different...“ Dom explains.  
“So, since you found it you’re happy, right?” Matt finishes the sentence for him, as Dom’s mobile rings due to a SMS from Stefan.  
“Hell yeah I am happy!” Dominic declares with a grin, eager to read Stef ’s answer.

“Anyway, now you must explain to me why we are talking about that!” he summons his friend after reading the message.  
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just that... uh.. I don’t know where to start... “ Matt plays for time, tugging nervously the black braces that help him to keep on better the black trousers he chose to wear.  
“Well, you could start from the beginning, what do you think? And, look, I don’t mean from the morning with the mutual covers. I have the feeling that something happened before. Something that now you’re so gonna tell me.. “ Dom exhorts him, heading towards the mini fridge where he takes two cans of beer, throwing one in Matt’s direction. “And that will help!” he adds, coming back to the sofa.

They open the cans and take a couple of sips in perfect synchrony, as Matt gets ready to start his tale.  
“You guessed right. Something happened the night before, at their Hotel... “  
“Aww... my first night with Stef!” Dom sighs happily, as he dials the answer on his mobile, but giving attention to Matt anyway.  
“Please, don’t give me the damn details! Coming back to what I was saying, for some odd reasons Brian and I were the only two people left and he offered me something to drink . After a bit of paranoia I decided that there was nothing wrong with that... “   
“After * a bit of paranoia * ?! Knowing you, you must have fallen into a deep trance, analyzing every single aspect of the whole situation.” Dom makes fun of him.  
For one moment Matt wonders if that night Dominic wasn’t hidden somewhere in the nearby, observing him, but he doesn’t make his friend realize that.

“Can I go on or what?” he snorts with an annoyed attitude and Dom raises his hands to make him understand that he gives in.  
“At the beginning everything was fine, we were chatting quietly, but then he got closer and... started looking at me in another way. Plus, he touched my leg and... “  
“And??” Dominic wonders impatiently, devoured by curiosity, squeezing his can with a little liquid left inside.  
“Let’s just say that he made a very explicit advance on me... “ Matt goes on, emptying his can.  
“What? What? What??” his interlocutor looks desperately for details.  
“I’m not telling you, not even after twenty beers at once! It was very explicit. End of the speech!” Matt points out, getting nervous.  
“Uff, ok, it means that I’ll rely on my fervid imagination!” Dom surrenders.

“So, how did you react?” he asks him.  
“How was I supposed to react? I left and told him to delete certain ideas from his mind. And the morning after you saw how bloody much he followed my advice.“ the brunette rolls his eyes.  
“Yeah, I know the morning after we all saw you two acting so odd... but now everything becomes clearer .. Ok, skip to the night when I left Brian and you alone in the backstage.“   
“So, you do admit that you did that on purpose!” Matt accuses his friend, glaring at him.  
“Who? Me?! Never!” the blond replies, as innocently as never before.

“Anyway, I tried to get rid of him, but he kept puzzling me with his speech .. and then he got so damn closer that.. we almost ended up kissing! I don’t know why he backed off.. “ Matt comments.  
“Am I wrong.. or are you sounding.. a bit disappointed?” Dominic makes him notice.  
“You’re wrong. I was just wondering.. “ the brunette justifies.

“I have a question for you. When he got closer.. what did you do? “ the blond questions him.  
“I did nothing. I just wanted to back off.. but at the same time .. I didn’t want it at all.. “  
“So, what did you want then?”

“This is the million dollar question! I don’t know. Between what was happening in these last weeks and what some people wrote about me.. sooner or later even I myself don’t know anymore who I am and what I want!” Matt admits desperately.  
“Hey. Wait a minute. What do you mean with ‘what some people write about you‘ ? Some fake interviews on a gossip magazine?” Dom wonders, curiously.

“No, it’s not a matter of interviews.. it’s the last thing I need. I meant.. you know.. don’t you? Ok.. after all I’ve also just recently found that out. Anyway... around the web there’s plenty of some things called.. well, I don’t remember.. fiction something.. and in those stories people play with real people or fictional characters, making them do everything.. where anything can happen. For some odd reasons, they seem to find it very amusing. But for some even more odd reasons.. there are tons of stories about you and me.. as a pairing! Well.. it’s not that I read them.. I just skimmed through the summaries.. Anyway.. don’t you find it absurd? It’s so deadly funny!” Matt explains, chuckling amused.

Too bad that Dom is not laughing at all, too lost in his thoughts after hearing that news.

“I repeat. Don’t you think it’s absurd?” Matt insists, but once again he gets no answer.  
“Dom?” he tries to bring him back to reality and seems to succeed.  
“Could you tell me the name of that site, please?” the blond asks him.

Matt manages to gather disbelief, amazement, shock.. and pure terror in just one expression.  
“Oh, c’mon, I was just kidding. I totally agree with you, it’s very absurd, yeah, yeah.. “ he adds, but his look seems to confirm just the opposite.

< Note to myself: I must spend more time on the internet, starting with the PC in our Hotel.. > he decides.

“Uhmm.. why am I not believing you?” Matt grumbles, disquiet.  
“What can I say, Bells? After all those revelations... I’m starting to look at you with other eyes. “ Dom winks at him.  
“Don’t! Keep looking at me with the eyes you have used so far!” Matt replies.

“Plus, you shouldn’t even think about certain things. After all, Stefan and you..” he adds.  
“Yes, between Stef and me there’s such a perfect feeling and we are bloody good together.. “ the blond starts his confession. “But just when we are both in the same town.. or in the nearby. With the distance.. I don’t think it would work . C’mon, how the hell am I supposed to be with a rock star? I know what kind of live he lives.. it’s the same as mine! How can I ever trust him.. when I don’t even know if I can trust myself?” he goes on, and then he stares at Matt.

“Anyway, I guess things would be a lot different with someone who is in the same band.. “ he admits with nonchalance.  
“Dom.. “ Matt seems to warn him.  
“Geez, you’re so presumptuous! What makes you think that I’m talking about you? Maybe I’m talking about Chris.. or Tom.. “ the other strikes back.  
“Yeah, of course! Anyway... I would never manage to do that stuff with you.. Oh, c’mon, we’ve known each other since.. always! You’re like a brother to me.. “ Matt explains, bewildering himself due to what he is saying.

< What the bloody hell am I doing? Am I .. justifying before him? And what the hell does ‘I would never manage to do that stuff with you ‘ mean? That maybe there’s someone with whom I would manage? No, No, my mind, please stop asking me these questions!> he torments himself.

“Well, well.. it would be such a wonderful incest!” the other smiles.  
“Dom!”  
“So, let me see if I got things straight. Are you telling me that if we hadn’t met before... if we were two perfect strangers... maybe you and I would.. ?” the blond dares to ask him.  
“Fuck you, Dom, quit the fucking matter! I turned to you in order to solve my problem.. and not to get another one!” the brunette snaps.

 

“Ok, I give in. After all, maybe with Stef it could even work.. maybe with time.. Well, we’ll see at Dec.. “ Dom comments, but he stops himself in time, seeing how puzzled his interlocutor is staring at him.

< Dammit, I forgot, Matt knows nothing about it yet… and I surely won’t be the one to tell him.. > he recalls, working himself up to find a way to conclude that sentence without giving himself away.

“Decency. This kind of matter requires decency!” the blond saves himself and Matt even seems to buy it.  
“Yes, you’re right!” he smiles at his friend.  
“Thanks. But know let’s get back to your troubles.. “ Dom suggests.  
“Yeah, that’s better. The biggest fuss happened since we’ve arrived here, especially during the day we wrote the lyrics. It’s all your and Chris’ fault, since you always leave me alone!” he complains.  
“Just tell me, what extraordinary terrible thing happened!” Dom states, kind of sceptic.  
“He kissed me, that‘s what happened!”  
“Oh my, really?” the other exclaims, stunned, since he didn’t expect such an answer from his friend.

“So.. how was it?” he wonders, curiously.  
“Unexpected. Unpredictable. Unfair. Anyway.. it wasn’t just a normal kiss .. it was just a very quick thing, two lips pressed against two other lips, simply. Practically, something like this..” Matt clarifies, bending towards Dom who is already waiting with his eyes closed and lips slightly parted, but when they are just a few inches from each other, Matt suddenly backs off prudently.

“Well? Weren’t you supposed to show me something? “ Dom opens his eyes again, with an upset look and a feeble pout.  
“Uhmm.. maybe it’s better if I don’t. You know, after what you told me.. I don’t think it’s a wise thing to do. I don’t trust you very much.. “ Matt admits, a little embarrassed.  
“You know what? You’re damn right!” the other smirks.

“So, that’s why the day after, at the recording studio… you were so cold and silent.. “ Dom concludes.  
“Yeah, and I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore!” Matthew declares.  
“But you’ve been talking about him for more than twenty minutes... it must mean something!” Dom makes him notice, glancing at his mobile.

Still no answer from Stef, and that means only one thing to the blond: send him another SMS to stimulate him.

“Do you think that just because I’m talking about him? Well, for the records, I’ve even dreamed about him, but that means nothing anyway.. “ the brunette reveals.  
“You.. WHAT? You dreamed about him?!” Dom repeats, stopping at half of the SMS.   
“Never mind, it’s such a long story, just pretend I didn’t tell you!” the other takes back what he said.  
“But you did, and that’s not something I can forget so easily.. as if it never happened! It’s not your usual habit to dream about a boy, it’s not your usual habit to be kissed by a boy, it’s not your usual.. “  
“I know that it’s not usual for me! Anyway, it’s not that I let him kiss me, he did the bloody thing on his own, without even asking my permission, without even giving me time to realize what was happening! Plus, I repeat, it wasn’t a real kiss!” Matt points out again, getting nervous.

But Dominic manages to puzzle him just with a simple question: “But would you like it to be a real kiss?” he asks him, giving him his second beer.  
“Mmphff.. ggghnn.. “ his interlocutor slurs.  
“Yeah, right. So, now are you going to repeat that to me in a comprehensible language or what?”  
“I don’t know. I’d like to state a resolute ‘ No!’.. “ he answers.  
“But...“ the other insists.  
“But, to be honest, I really can’t say it was a totally unpleasant thing. Maybe it’s because it’s totally new to me or because he caught me off guard or.. “  
“Or due the fact that you fancy Brian!” Dom deduces.

“What?! Nooo, what the bloody hell are you saying? Are you nuts? I don’t fancy Brian at all! He.. he only bewilders me. He always has that look that says so much more than his words do. Plus, his eyes are.. really, really too.. impossibly green ... and someone should endorse a law that prevents him from using all that lip stick.. “ Matt burst out, but stops on his own when he realizes what he’s actually saying.  
“Oops. Oh, shit!” he exclaims.

“That’s right, my dear Bells, you got a big crush on him!” the blond chuckles.  
“And not for a simple guy, hell no, you chose him damn right! Brian is so stunning .. if I wasn’t already with Stef.. I’d like to have an affair with him, too.. “ Dominic confesses.  
“Hey! Be satisfied with one of the Placebo guys! Plus, with Brian you would be just hopeless.. it’s me whom he wants!” Matt clarifies proudly, glaring at him.

“See? Jealousy. So now don’t dare to tell me you didn’t fall for him, buddy!” Dom giggles.  
“Wait a minute. You did it on purpose, didn’t you?”  
“Right guess. And you utterly fell into my trap!” the other sneers.  
“Dominic James Howard, you’re such an evil and ruthless being!” Matt hisses.  
“But I’m right!” the other strikes back.

“Yes. I mean... hell no! I mean.. Oh, c’mon, you know me better than anyone else. I like girls, I’ve always liked them! And I’m just waiting to find the right one, with whom I can build something important. I want a serious one, calm, quiet, maybe a student. Yes, I can already see that. Her getting ready for her exam and me staying close to her, maybe even taking inspiration for a song. And if I really fell in love with her, I believe that I would even be willing to move to her country, if we lived far apart, if I met a foreign girl. Maybe an Italian one... you know that I love that country.. “ Matt comments, daydreaming.

“So, I just have to resist and sooner or later those bad thoughts will go away.. “ he adds.  
“Why do you think that these thoughts are bad?” Dom narrows his eyes.  
“Because, if I surrender to them, when my final day comes... I’ll burn in hell!” the brunette explains.  
“Geez, Matt, you’re really obsessed with the fucking apocalypse!” Dom rolls his eyes. “Anyway, according to what you said.. I’m condemned to burn in hell, too!” he observes.  
“No, it’s different. You are you and I am me..”   
“You realize that what you’re saying has no meaning at all, don’t you?”  
“I don’t realize anything at all anymore! Dom, what do you think should I do?” Matt puts his hands into his hair, being on the edge of a breakdown.

“I guess that you’re stuck now and if you don’t face your obstacles... you won’t be able to move on. Although you’ve already chosen your path, no matter how wonderful it seems, you have to cross a bridge before arriving there. But maybe, once you’ve crossed it... you will eventually find out that you don’t want to go there anymore.. “ Dom comments.  
“Uh? Explain that. “   
“It’s like getting a drivers licence. If you don’t take the lessons.. no, wait, this example doesn’t help, I don’t even know why I’m using it!”   
“Anyway, I’m a very good driver. Ok, sometimes I get some penalties, but.. I can drive! “  
“Ok, let’s try it with dancing. You know some dancing, but you’ve never tried.. I don’t know.. tip-tap. So, you start taking lessons and.. “  
“I would never do such a stupid thing!”   
“Damn you, Bells, have you ever heard about a thing called *metaphor*?” the blond starts losing his patience.  
“Yes, I did, but try to use one that it’s not so stupid!” 

Dom concentrates for a while and then he seems to be enlightened.  
“I got it! So far you have gone just in one kind of restaurant. But now you feel the deep need to change it, in order to try.. a new dish. And if you taste it you’ll find out on your own if you like that dish so much that you’ll reject the previous ones.. or if you are an unsatisfied customer who will never ever come back to the place.. or if you even like both the kind of dishes! Is it clear now?”  
“Hell no! But you made me bloody hungry now!” Matt grumbles.  
“I give in, you’re hopeless!” Dom rolls his eyes, exasperated.

“Oh, c’mon, I was just kidding. Actually I have already figured out everything since the bridge speech.. “ the brunette admits.  
“What?! Geez, do you know how it is hard to find examples?” the blond complains.  
“Yes, but I enjoy it far too much seeing you try!” the other smirks.  
“Excuse me, *who* was the evil and ruthless being?” Dom makes him notice, glaring at him.

“Well, I guess it’s time for me to go... and change restaurants!” Matt states, getting up.  
“Alright! Don’t forget to tell me everything afterwards!” his friend incites him.  
“We’ll see. Anyway, don’t dare to tell a word to Chris about this whole matter!” he summons him.  
“So, do you mean that I can’t tell anything to Chris.. but I can spread the news all around every kind of press.. from Times to the last teen magazine?” the other jokes.  
“Very funny.. “ the brunette shakes his head.

“Anyway.. to hell with *I won’t tell Chris anything*! He bloody has to know everything! You know, it’s since that night as Brian was backstage with us that Chris and I are betting about the fact if Brian will conquer you or not. And Chris was so ridiculesly sure that it would never happen that he didn’t even hesitate letting you two alone.. that’s why he gave you that CD.. “ Dom confesses.

“What?! So.. I’m crossing the Queen of the existential crises .. and you even bet about it? Bloody hell, what fucking kind of friends do I have?” Matt grumbles, kinda offended and disappointed.  
“Simply two friends that you keep fleecing whenever we play poker. We had to get our money back somehow!” Dom shrugs.  
“Yeah.. and I have one more reason to keep you in my black list!” the other warns him, almost threateningly, and then he leaves, as Dom wonders what the hell he was talking about.

 

Matt crosses the corridor that takes him to the exit cautiously, taking advantage of the fact that the coast is temporary clear.  
But he knows that two beer won’t be enough for him to do what he’s about to do.  
He needs much more incentive…

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you won’t mind if I made Gaia appear in this part even if just an hypothetic Matt’s ideal girl! Since in this story she doesn’t exist.. at least I owed that to her, poor dear!
> 
> Hold on, this sorry is almost over!


	17. Chapter XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt has controlled his feelings for too long. Brian has a special need.

Matthew observes the shot glass he is making spin on the counter of the bar in his hotel.

Because, after a regenerating shower and a change of outfit to something less weird, he has decided to stop over the bar, guessing that the mini-fridge in his room couldn’t give him the proper quantity of alcohol he needs.

 

The shot glass keeps spinning restlessly, as Matt gulps down another shot of vodka.

Maybe it’s the fourth one, or the fifth one, not even he can remember correctly.

 

He’s relieved by the fact that, just like most of the customers and the hotel staff, the barman doesn’t seem to know who he is. He just knows he is a famous person, but he doesn’t know due to what.

After all, usually that hotel is plenty of famous people.

 

Matt couldn’t ask any better, because after the long chat with Dom he doesn’t feel like chatting anymore.

Correction, there’s only a person he wants to talk with... and not only to talk.

 

“Aren’t you drinking way too much, kid?” the barman exclaims, stopping the spinning shot glass before it falls from the counter, since it’s crossing the edge.

 

Matt raises his gaze to his direction, pretty annoyed because the barman broke the silence he craved so bad and because he also quit that relaxing game, but mostly because he called him ‘kid‘.

No matter if the barman is fifty years old, that can’t allow him to call him that way.

Matt wonders if the barman will also dare ask him to show his ID to prove him he’s old enough to drink.

Usually it’s Dominic the one who is mistaken for an almost twenty years old guy.

 

“It’s not enough for what I’m planning to do!” Matt strikes back, shrugging and getting up from his stool, hoping not to feel too dizzy, but he doesn’t seem to have such problem.

 

“Why? What are you going to do?” the barman gets curios.

 

No matter if that man feels like chatting, Matthew won’t give him that satisfaction.

“I have to cross a bridge that will bring me to a restaurant where I’ll take tip-tap lessons!” he answers dryly, heading to the exit.

 

“These showbiz people are so bizarre... I wonder what they smoke! After all, I’ve told that guy that he has drunk way too much!” the barman shakes his head as he cleans the counter.

 

Matt had drunk, yes, but in the right measure; just enough to annihilate every shadow of inhibition or rethink, but not enough not to be aware and self controlled.

 

Anyway, he knows he has drunk enough to temporarily knock his sense of direction out, so instead of walking he decides to rely on the Hotel bus.

It’s not hard to guess where he wants to go.

Once again he thanks his lucky stars for the fact that the driver is neither a Muse fan nor a person who feels like chatting.

So, during the short trip, Matt is free to travel in his thoughts, until a certain song pops out into his mind.

Maybe it’s because he’s affectionate to it, since it belongs to their debut, maybe it’s because it’s been a while since they’ve played it at the shows, or maybe it’s because right now that song seems to be the perfect portrait of the situation Matt is living... no matter if he wrote it for other very different reasons!

 

Suddenly he feels like singing it out loud, too bad that he has no guitar, he’s not on stage and it’s almost 1:00 a.m.

Due to all these reasons he must confine himself just to play it only in his mind, lingering on every sentence.

 

IT’S HAPPENING SOON, IT’S HAPPENING SOON

IT’S SCENT HAS BEEN BLOWING IN MY DIRECTION

TO ME IT IS NEW, TO ME IT IS NEW

AND IT’S NOT GONNA CHANGE FOR ANYBODY

 

< Yeah, right, we’ll make this damn thing happen once for all. And I’m sure that nothing will change, everything will come back to normality, I’ll just give up with this stupid curiosity... >

 

AND IT’S GONNA BE OUR LAST MEMORY

AND IT’S LED ME ON AND ON TO YOU

 

 

 

IT’S GOTTA BE HERE, IT’S GOTTA BE THERE

IT’S GOTTA BE NOW OR I’LL LOSE FOREVER

 

< I just have only tonight to find out what I have to find out. If I don’t make it happen I’m sure I’ll spend half of my life, or maybe my whole life, wondering how it could have been... so I’d better stop wondering and just act! >

 

TO ME IT’S STRANGE, THIS FEELING IS STRANGE

BUT IT’S NOT GONNA CHANGE FOR ANYBODY

 

< I’d never thought that one fine day I’d feel so... weird! I bet it’s just a temporary feeling, it must be temporary! And finally this is going to end! > Matt encourages himself.

 

 

AND IT’S GONNA BE OUR LAST MEMORY 

AND IT’S LED ME ON AND ON TO YOU

ACCUSE ME, TRUST ME

I NEVER KNEW

THAT YOU WERE THE ONE, YOU WERE THE ONE

 

< Oh, no, I’d better quit thinking about this bloody song! > the guy summons himself, as the Hotel bus is about to reach its destination.

 

******************************* (In the meantime)

 

Brian is getting bored.

Since Stefan has gone, he tried to go to bed and close his eyes, but after a never-ending and nervous turning over, he established that for that night it’s an impossible mission.

 

For more than one hour, alcohol and cigarettes have been his only fellows, but not even that helped him feel better.

Holding a cigarette in his hand and a glass of brandy in the other hand, he backs over with his mind through all the vicissitudes of the last weeks, since the first meeting with Matthew to the first chats, from the first of Brian’s advances towards him to his first unexpected reactions, from their first fights to... the moment Brian is sure he has fucked up everything… or maybe has he smoothed for Matt the way to discover a new facet of him he totally ignored?

 

Because there has been a moment when, maybe overwhelmed by the last glimpse of hope, Brian started staring at the door of his room, waiting... well... he really doesn’t know what he was exactly waiting for, but he surely knows whom he was waiting for: Matthew.

 

Matthew who looked for him, Matthew who apologized to him, Matthew who confessed who was right and who was wrong, Matthew who did every kind of deed.

 

Anyway, just like he pessimistically guessed, that door had been close all time long.

 

After the fourth cigarette, he decides he needs to get a breath of fresh air, so he opens the large screen door and looks out of the balcony. After all, it’s deep night so no fan can see him and scream madly to him, because the darkness hides him very well.

 

So, the guy is free to enjoy undisturbed the fresh breeze of half August and the beautiful overview, with the sea, the same sea he has admired in the afternoon.

Almost without realizing that, Brian looks at his acoustic guitar, placed against the wall, next to the bed.

 

That sea that seems to read inside him.

That guitar that can only give out too sweet notes to be blamed for breaching the peace.

Last, but not least, that sense of disquiet that is haunting him.

To Brian the association is immediate.

 

He enters in the room, closing the window at his back, and sits comfortably on his bed, taking the guitar and controlling that it is correctly tuned.

After some plucks he’s ready to begin.

Although he hasn’t been playing that song for a while, he still remembers it perfectly.

And as he plays, his look comes back to the sea that he can still foresee through the window.

 

TIME TO PASS YOU TO THE TEST

HANGING ON MY LOVER’S BREATH

ALWAYS COMING SECOND BEST

PICTURES OF MY LOVER’S CHEST

 

And maybe, helped by that vaguely dreamy music, Brian dreams about a Matt who is ready to pass the test.

 

< It would be so wonderful to wake up and to find him beside me. I could listen to his breathing, caress his chest... oh, god, I guess that although he’s way too skinny, his body must be not so bad at all… > Brian fantasizes.

 

Deep within his heart, he hopes Matt will come looking for him, but not as a second-best in a night that can’t give him anything better. No, if Matt looks for him, it must be because he craves him.

 

GET THROUGH THIS NIGHT

THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES

THIS TIME I MIGHT

TO ASK THE SEA FOR ANSWERS

 

 

ALWAYS FALLING ON THE FLOOR

SOFTER THAN IT WAS BEFORE

DOG BOY, MEDIA WHORE

IS WHO THE HELL YOU TAKE ME FOR

 

< That’s not true. The more you fall, the more the harsh impact with the ground hurts. And it gets worse every time. This is only his fault. Stupid, insolent Devon boy, who the hell he thinks he is to treat me that way? He got the wrong sense of me, I have my dignity. I guess I’ve already wasted enough time with him...>

 

GIVE UP THIS FIGHT

THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES

THIS TIME I MIGHT

TO ASK THE SEA FOR ANSWERS

 

 

THIS BOND IS SHACKLES FREE

WRAPPED IN LUST AND LUNACY

TINY TOUCH OF JEALOUSY

THIS BOND IS SHACKLES FREE

 

< Am I asking too much? I don’t want a solid relationship. It would be enough just one night. At least one night. If I think that his band mates, Dom above all, can stay with him every time they please, it makes me sick, I’m so jealous it almost kills me! Will he be jealous of my band mates too, at least a tiny bit? Or couldn’t he care less about me? > he wonders, skipping to the final part.

 

GET THROUGH THIS

THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES AND

 

He quits, out of the blue. Or rather it’s a noise that stops him, a knock on his door that is becoming more and more insistent.

 

< Shit, I knew it! I’m sure it will be a bunch of hotel customers that I must have woken up with my song. Ok, my fault... maybe I shouldn’t have cried the last part that way, but it’s stronger than me , I let it go every time... > he blames himself, putting the guitar back in its place and getting up from the bed.

 

< On second thought, damn, it’s my bloody room, so I’m free to do whatever I please, am I not? Plus, the walls are soundproof... at least I think so. Whatever! Why the hell should they complain? After all, it’s just 1:00 a.m! > he gets bothered, opening the door absently.

 

“Let’s make it clear, I’m not fucking going to apologize!” he snaps, but as soon as he brings into focus the person who is standing in front of him, he definitely changes mood.

“But I am going to do that…” Matthew announces, crossing the threshold without even waiting for Brian’s invitation.

Brian intently observes him. He’s panting, almost as if he had arrived there running.

 

“You?! What the fuck are you doing here? We are just *colleagues*, words from you. And this definitively doesn’t strike me as a working hour...” he keeps himself to himself, crossing his arms and turning his back to him.

 

This time is Matthew who observes him with great attention: he’s natural, with no trace of make-up. It’s rare to see him like that. And Matthew must admit that the lipstick has nothing to do with the fascination of those soft and full lips.

Plus, he’s utterly dressed in white and that’s a colour that makes him seem almost an angel.

Too bad that angels don’t make people fall into temptation, especially when he’s wearing that totally unbuttoned shirt that bares a part of his chest at every single move of his.

 

Instead, this time it’s Matt who is playing the devilish charmer, because he wears that red shirt Brian loves so much, the one of the first night they met. And Brian mostly likes the way he’s wearing it: half unbuttoned, almost as if Matt wanted to summon Brian to finish the job.

 

Although Brian is turning his back to him, he can’t help staring at his mirror reflection, but Matthew has noticed that and Brian has realized he noticed that.

So, he figures out there’s no more reasons to keep turning his back to him.

 

“C’mon, Bri, you know, sometimes you say things in the heat of the moment…” Matthew justifies, as Brian opens his eyes wide.

It’s surely not the first time he’s called that way, but it’s the very first time Matthew calls him that way, that’s why it sounds so special and... good.

“Well, you can be very cutting in the heat of the moment!” Brian holds it against him, frostily.

 

“As I’ve already told you, I apologize, although… damn! It’s your fault too, at least at fifty percent. You caught me off guard... you shouldn’t have!” the younger guy protests.

“It’s not the kind of things you give advance notice for!” the older guy strikes back. “Listen, if you didn’t like it, I don’t care, I don’t regret it at all.” he adds.

“I haven’t said I didn’t like it, I’ve just said that you shouldn’t have, because now there are consequences…” Matthew points out with an enigmatic smile and both things confuse Brian.

 

“What... what are you trying to tell me?”

“Maybe it’s just what you want me to tell you…” the other answers, more and more enigmatic.

 

“Stop it! I don’t believe you. If what you said is true, you should have come to the backstage yesterday. I’ve waited for you for more than two hours. And you weren’t there.” Brian makes him notice.

“But you were with me!” Matthew confesses.

 

Brian is a living question mark.

 

“You heard me right. You were in my dreams. And you have waited for me for more than two hours even there.” Matt smiles as he takes some steps closer to him.

“Did... did you dream about me?” Brian frowns.

“Yes, I did, and not only that. I get as nervous as hell if I only hear your name, sometimes I’ve got the feeling you’re everywhere. Plus, you make me forget the lyrics of my songs at the shows and... mostly... all your speeches keep echoing in my head. It must mean something!” Matthew admits, amused by the increasing astonishment on Brian’s face that rapidly turns into a large smile.

 

“So, what does it mean to you?” he asks him, taking some steps closer, too.

“It means that... you won, Bri.” Matt murmurs.

 

He has called him that way again. And once again it has the same effect on Brian. And the effect increases when Matt brings a trembling hand to his face, skimming his cheek, as his other hand flows through his hair, a little bit uncertainly.

 

Brian grasps his hand from his face and brings it to his own heart, to make him feel how fast it’s beating, and then he puts his other hand on Matt’s heart that maybe is beating even faster.

 

“You are wrong. I guess there are no losers at this game…” Brian murmurs.

“I... I think so…” the other whispers, staring insistently at that mouth he’s dying to kiss, maybe even since that first night; it’s only that he wasn’t still aware of it.

Brian seems to read that desire in his mesmerizing blue eyes and he’s dying to please him.

 

“So, tell me, what do you want me to do, cutie?” he asks him rhetorically.

A delighted smile escapes from Matthew.

He had never thought he would miss a word so bad.

And his answer is as simpler as explicit, as he bends slowly over him.

“Make me try something new!”

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I’ve said this was the last chapter, but I’m not that evil, I can’t make it end just here.
> 
> That’s why there will be an epilogue, you like it or not, lol!
> 
> Anyway, let me warn you, don’t expect any description of what those two are about to doing now... let’s say that I turn the light off and give them some privacy... ;)
> 
>  
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Usually I write it before the chapters, but this time it would have spoiled too much.
> 
> The songs I used for this chapter are respectively ‘Fillip‘ by Muse and ‘Ask for Answers‘ by Placebo. I love those songs and I guess they fit in the story pretty well.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you’ll still like it, but feel free to tell me everything, really!


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: There are some lyrics from ‘Host’ by Muse, ‘Days before you came’ by Placebo, ‘Protect me from what I want’ by Placebo and ‘Agitated’ by Muse. I’m sure you’ll recognize them ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Plus, about the romance, well it was just temporary, you know, I really prefer them when they argue! ^^

EPILOGUE

 

After the recurring, constant and more than natural course of time, one second after the other, until they turn into minutes that turn into hours, the night dismisses, giving way to the morning that daily greets Cardiff.

In remarkable opposition to the progressive awakening of the town, in a room of a certain Hotel, there are two guys who are sleeping placidly, ignoring it all.

 

The strange thing is that, although the bed is pretty large and spacious, said two guys ended up sharing just one side of it, with one resting comfortably his head on the bared chest of the other.

On both their stress-free faces it’s easy to notice a pleased serenity.

 

Anyway, just a bunch of hours after, said utter serenity fades away from one of the two guys, the first to wake up.

To be more precise, it’s his mind that wakes up, but his body is still too numb to accomplish the order to open his eyes that his brain is imparting to him.

 

< Here we go again with these hot dreams. I must quit it, seriously. Plus, this time it was so explicit, so vivid, so real… > Matthew ponders silently, as the lapping of the sea waves he can hear from afar lulls him.

 

< Wait a moment. The sea? The Prince is not close to the sea! Bad sign. > he realizes as he decides that it’s time for him to pop his eyes open, before turning to the bedside table.

 

In the penumbra that the half closed windows offer to him, Matt manages to see the blinking alarm clock that lets him know that it’s already 9:30 a.m.

 

Too bad that it’s not the same alarm clock he has in his room.

 

< Another very bad sign. > he gets disquieted, before his senses reactivate enough to make him register the presence of something on his chest.

 

And since it breathes, said ‘something’ changes over to ‘someone’.

 

And the guy is almost afraid to turn to the other side.

 

< It’s just a series of coincidences. Please, please, please, let it be just Dom who is making one of his stupid jokes!> he begs his lucky stars, before recalling in his mind all the revelations of the night before.

 

< Uh, no, bad idea, no Dom, it could be even worse. So, please, let it be a puckish groupie who knocked me out, kidnapped me and now keeps me prisoner in her room, in order to dispose of me as she pleases. This would be something less scary to me. > he wishes and then he turns slowly to the other side, but as soon as he realizes who is the person beside him, all his ‘optimistic hopes’ fade away.

 

“Shit, no, this time it wasn’t a dream. DAMMIT!” Matthew yells as he pushes Brian off him, but he does it so powerfully that not only he manages to push him away, but he makes him fall from the bed, too.

 

Matt’s voice and the not so delicate impact with the floor abruptly awake the other guy too, before he gets up, a little bit dazed.

 

“Phew! It wasn’t exactly the kind of awakening I had planned. I’m definitely the type of ‘good morning, sunshine!’ kiss and breakfast on bed, anyway I’ll try to be content with that.” Brian grumbles, massaging his aching hip.

 

Matthew notices relieved that Brian is wearing his pants, just like him, but the relief vanishes as soon as the memories of the last night start resurfacing.

 

“You… and me. Me… and you. You. And me. Me. And you…” he stutters incoherently.

“Alright. It seems that you are more the type of awakening with dyslexia. But you’re right. You and me. Me and you. This is what all last night was made of.” Brian smiles.

 

“Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit…” Matt mutters as a mantra, at an astonishing speed, jumping off the bed as a fury and walking back and forth around the bed.

“What? Are you working on a new song? If you want a sincere feedback, I find it just a little bit monotonous, but impressive, no doubt about it!” Brian makes fun of him, amused by his crazy behaviour.

 

Matthew stops out of the blue, turning to him and resuming speaking with a more normal and comprehensible speed.

“Listen, what happened last night…”

“Was special.” the other cuts him off, with dreamy eyes.

 

“No, that’s not what I meant. You know what? It happened just due to the vodka, the stress, the vodka, you putting me under such unbearable pressure, the vodka, Dom’s brainwashing, the vodka, but mostly the vodka!” Matt points out.

“Well, if it has such an effect on you, God bless vodka, then!” Brian smirks.

 

“That’s not the point. I wanted a new experience, that’s true. But now that I had it I can absolutely declare that I prefer women, no doubt about that!” Matt goes on, as he looks for his shirt. He opens the window to bring more light in the room.

 

< Uh. Am I wrong or he really said ‘prefer’ and not ‘I like just and only women’? So, Matt, you’re not as upset as you want to make me believe. > Brian figures out, giving him the craved shirt after seeing it peeping in from under the bed.

 

“Thank you. It’s just that it’s too odd… and it hurts like hell!” Matt admits, a little bit embarrassed.

 

Instead, Brian’s cocky smile shows anything but embarrassment.

“Yeah, I know. Everyone says so the first time.” he comments, with a knowing smile.

“What the hell does it mean ‘the first time’? Take it for granted, there won’t be a second time, never ever!” Matthew warns him, buttoning his shirt up, in all its entirety.

 

Truth is that the younger guy is overwhelmed by flashbacks.

He perfectly remembers his aroma, his caresses, his kisses, his looks, his whispers.

Every single sense of his had a taste of Brian and, unconsciously or not, he will jealously keep that memory.

 

Brian seems to read that in his baby blue, sparkling eyes.

 

“So, I’m sorry, Brian, but it was just the hazard of a night.” the other keeps pleading for himself.

 

His only answer, Brian bursts out laughing.

 

“Let me see if I got it straight. Are you apologizing? Do you think you hurt me? Look, it’s nothing serious to me, either. I don’t know what idea you got of it, but I don’t think you’re my soulmate, at all! To begin with, I still have to establish if I want a female soulmate or a male one. I tend to prefer women a little bit more, there‘s more stuff to do with them. Oriental ones are unquestionably the best, they drive me crazy.” Brian confesses and as he listens to him Matthew doesn’t know if he should feel relieved… or upset.

 

My trust in you has been abused.

 

“Anyway, I wouldn’t absolutely say no to a second time with you. And a third one, too. And many, many others, my dear finch!” Brian adds.

“Finch?!” Matt frowns.

“It’s just how I supposed: you tweet even in bed!” Bran makes fun of him.

“Fuck you!” is the harsh, bitter and quick answer from a very pissed off Matthew.

But his reaction just makes Brian laugh again.

 

“First of all, gee, such a dandy like you shouldn’t talk that way. And second… you already did that. No, wait. You didn’t. Do you want to try now? Trust me, you’ll enjoy the role reversal even more!” Brian winks, with a silky voice as he glances at the undone bed and stares deeply into Matt’s eyes.

 

It’s a more than clear invitation.

 

Want to join me now? Baby’s looking to get laid.

 

Matthew must resorts to all his self-control not to give in, because, no matter how hard he tries to deny it even to himself, he’s not revolted at all by that proposal.

 

Protect me from what I want.

 

“No! Don’t even try! Last night was both the beginning and the end of everything. Period!” he remarks, or rather tries to convince himself.

 

“Now I’d better go. You have a show to play, I have an airplane to take…” he immediately changes subject.

 

“So, we’re at the end of the road, From now on we’ll be on very different ways. I don’t think we’ll meet again. Maybe at some awards ceremonies, but I’ll keep my distance, that’s for sure!” Matthew states while walking towards the door.

Brian listens to him, more and more puzzled.

 

< End of the road? Different ways? We’ll never meet again? I got it! He doesn’t know yet about all the promotional stuff. Well, I won’t let him know about that! > he decides, acting with nonchalance.

 

Matthew pulls the handle down, but before crossing the threshold he turns to Brian one last time, with a softened expression, as soft as the tone he uses to speak.

 

“Anyway, Bri, I lied to you that day.” he confesses, as his listener gets curios, but he just questions him with his eyes.

 

“You’ll be an annoying memory, no doubt about that, and irritating and intolerable, too. But not disgusting. Never disgusting.” he whispers, before leaving.

 

Brian smiles with satisfaction. If first he just had the feeling, now he’s absolutely sure of it.

 

< It won’t be just a memory! >

 

 

 

 

Matt is already walking on the sidewalk, heading to his Hotel, as he tries to clear up the mess in his mind.

On the one hand, he can’t wait to resume looking for the perfect girl for him, with renewed spirit, but on the other hand he can’t help thinking about how Brian makes him feel.

 

You try to make me crazy. You make me agitated. And then I’m suffocated.

 

Something takes off his mind from those thoughts. It’s the persistent ringing of his mobile that he stops without even looking at the display, before answering.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Matt, it’s Tom here. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No, don’t worry, I’m more than awake.”

“Fine, because we must talk.”

“Listen, if it’s about those little trivial mistakes with the songs last night…” Matthew cuts him off, dreading his angry reaction.

“No, don’t worry; it’s not about that, although we’ll deal with that, too.” the manager warns him, with a tone that hides a threat. “Now I just want to talk about the project. You know, maybe it could have happened that I forgot telling you something else…” he explains to him, a little bit hesitant.

“Why? What else should I know about it?” the other gets curious.

 

 

******************************* (In the meantime)

 

Brian keeps walking back and forth around the room, mirroring Matthew’s previous attitude.

 

< Let’s sum up. We’ll meet again on December, our agendas will be plenty of the same duties, but he still ignores that. So, when he’ll finally know, it will be such a shock to him, he will be devastated , he will fly into rage, he will have a nervous breakdown… what the bloody hell am I waiting for? I want to be the one who tells him that, I must see his face when he hears that news! > he rapidly changes his mind, grabs the first T-shirt he finds in his closet and rushes off the room.

 

He arrives just in time to find Matt on the other side of the road, as he’s busy talking on the phone, or rather listening whoever is talking to him.

He’s happy for reaching him in time, but then he sees him get progressively unquiet, before snapping in an outburst of rage.

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS CAN’T BE FUCKING POSSIBLE!!” he curses, before smashing on the ground that poor mobile that did nothing but making him hear that news.

And he smashes it as violently as he used to do with the guitars he had destroyed in the past, after some shows.

 

Brian immediately realizes what’s going on and he crosses the road, keeping very silent as he approaches him, in order to take him by surprise.

 

“You already know that you didn’t solve anything this way, don’t you?” he exclaims, making him jolt and then Matt seems to calm down or surrender, or both of these things.

“Well, I had to change my mobile anyway!” he justifies.

“So, now you also know the truth, Mr We-are-at-the-end-of-the-road!” Brian mocks him.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Matt hisses.

“So, tell me, what annoys you the most? The interviews, the photo-sessions, the autograph-sessions, the meetings with the fans, our show at Wembley...”

 

“What? There will be a show at the Wembley Arena, too? You and me? I mean, your band and mine? Together?!” Matt wonders, petrified.

 

“Oh. So, you didn’t know that yet!” Brian rejoices.

“No, I erupted after hearing about all the TV shows we will be guests to… and probably prevented the poor Tom from telling me the rest.” the other explains.

 

“You know, I can already see that: me and you playing ‘Forced to do’ in front of a huge crowd and sending them into a frenzy. And then, when you are busy with the riff and you less expect it, I could get closer to you and…” Brian describes and gets closer to him, in order to whisper in his ear the rest. 

 

Matt doesn’t know if it’s due to his voice, to what he’s suggesting or the way he’s suggesting that to him, but just at the thought of enacting that plan, a shiver runs down his spine, and he knows that it’s not fear, neither repulsion!

 

“You… you wouldn’t dare…” he strikes back, weakly, taking his distance.

“Don’t challenge me, cutie!” Brian warns him, maliciously.

Hopelessly, Matthew glances up, staring at the sky.

 

< Why can’t a Zeta come here and abduct me when I need it? > he wonders rhetorically, but he doesn’t give in, because he still has another plan.

 

Under Brian’s perplexed look and drawing the attention of the other passers , he gets down on his knees, out of the blue, as he keeps staring at the sky, with his fingers entwined under his chin, in a hit-off attempt of a prayer.

 

“God, you know I seriously doubt about your existence, but if you make my torment end I swear I’ll die as a true believer! You have about three months left and two options: annihilate me or... annihilate him!” he cuts himself off, glancing at Brian, and then he goes on with his bizarre request.

 

“Of course, I would be happier if you chose the second option… but I don’t care, take your time to choose whom and how, the most important thing is that you’ll do it. I rely on you!” he concludes, but then, for greater safeguard, he decides to plead also to other divinities.

 

Brian looks at him, pretty amused.

“You always exaggerate!”

 

\--

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it’s over for real!
> 
>  
> 
> I know that there’s an open-ended but I don’t plan a ‘pwoper’ sequel, not so far at least.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, there will be just a very quick one-shot that takes place some years after that, ok?
> 
>  
> 
> Well, I had lot of fun writing it, I hope you had fun reading it.


End file.
